Yuri The Only One For Me
by NessaYume
Summary: <html><head></head>AU.. What happens when Mello leaves? More importantly, when he returns? What will he think of Matt's life of partying with drugs and sex? Can they forgive each other? How Does Beyond Birthday get involved? a/n I own nothing!</html>
1. When You're Gone

A/N: Summary: How does Matt take it when his best friend takes off without him to travel the world? Who and what does he turn to when he feels so alone? More importantly, how does he react when Mello returns? Why is it that the one person Matt thought was on his side, makes everything so much more complicated? It turns out, as close as they were, there was unspoken secrets between them. And just maybe when that secret is revealed, it will turn their world upside down.

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Warnings: No beta. This chapter should be fine.. Drug use and sexual situations in later chapters.

Characters: Matt, Mello, BB, L, Light, Matsuda, Sayu, Mikam, and Misa.

**Chapter 1: When You're Gone**

_**I always needed time on my own**_

_**I never thought I'd need you there when I cry**_

_**And the days feel like years when I'm alone**_

_**And the bed where you lie is made up on your side**_

He had always been a loner by nature. It was who he was. His family was taken from him at such a young age. He spent some time bouncing around different orphanages. They always shipped him to a new one, with one excuse or another. He didn't even try to remember their 'reasons' anymore. It never truly mattered. He was used to being alone. Handling his emotions on his own. He opened his green eyes to look around. It was exactly how Mello had left it. Mello. The boy who changed his life. Who turned him to depend on him. The _MAN_ he cared so much about. The bed was made neatly. Just the wrinkles that had formed under Matt disturbed it. He had made it a habit to stay in Mello's- no. The _spare_ room. Matt squeezed his eyes shut as the tears started again. It had been 3 days since Mello walked out. But Matt felt like it had been 3 _years._

_**When you walk away I count the steps that you take**_

_**Do you see how much I need you right now**_

_'Promise me you'll take care of yourself, Matty.' _He had said as Matt watched him walk to the door. If Mello could see him now. He was so pathetic. He didn't know why or when he began to depend so much on the blonde, but he had.

_**When you're gone**_

_**The pieces of my heart are missing you**_

_**When you're gone**_

_**The face I came to know is missing too**_

_**When you're gone**_

_**The words I need to hear to always get me through the day and make it ok**_

_**I miss you**_

_'No, Matt. You still have a year left to get your degree. I promise, in a year, I'll be here to watch you graduate. And then you can come with me if I decide to go again.'_ Matt had begged Mello to take him with him. He didn't want to stay here alone. He missed his best friend dearly.

_**I've never felt this way before**_

_**Everything that I do reminds me of you**_

_**And the clothes you left, they lie on the floor**_

_**And they smell just like you, I love the things that you do**_

Matt sat up as he heard the door open with a loud bang. _L._ The great detective who couldn't pick just one successor. He had said they all had their strong points. That he could use them all. It should've made everyoe happy. But not Mello. He had to be number one. Upon sitting up, Matt could see everything Mello had left behind. He only took what he needed. One duffle bag. His leather since he was taking his bike. All the chocolate he could. And ofcourse, his laptop. But that was it. The shelves on the wall were lined with first editions. Clothes littered the floor. Mello had even forgotten his rosary that sat on his nightstand. He was surrounded in Mello. You could feel his presence here. Open books from continued studying on the desk. A hole in the wall by said desk from an angry outburst (most likely involving Near). He felt the sting behind his eyes as he finally looked at his mentor in the doorway.

_**When you walk away I count the steps that you take**_

_**Do you see how much I need you right now**_

"Matt, come eat something." L was telling him. _Begging_ him. How could he? It felt as though with the loss of his best friend, he was useless.

_**When you're gone**_

_**The pieces of my heart are missing you**_

_**When you're gone**_

_**The face I came to know is missing too**_

_**When you're gone**_

_**The words I need to hear to always get me through the day and make it ok**_

_**I miss you**_

Matt pulled at his sleeves to make sure his forearms and wrists were covered. It wouldn't do to had L spot the fresh wounds. L was too damn perseptive. He had seen. Mat knew he did. But he didn't comment. He just asked Matt once again to come eat something.

_**We were made for each other**_

_**Out here forever**_

_**I know we were, yeah**_

_**All I ever wanted was for you to know**_

_**Everything I'd do, I'd give my heart and soul**_

_**I can hardly breathe I need to feel you here with me, yeah**_

_'Promise me you'll study. Work hard. Make me proud Matty. And when you graduate with top marks, the world will be ours for the taking.' _Matt forced himself up. He would keep the promise he had made to Mello. If only so he could go with him in year. He followed L out to the dinning room. Beyond Birthday, L's twin brother and ex-con, was at the table waiting for them.

_**When you're gone**_

_**The pieces of my heart are missing you**_

_**When you're gone**_

_**The face I came to know is missing too**_

_**When you're gone**_

_**The words I need to hear to always get me through the day and make it ok**_

_**I miss you**_

By the time Matt had forced himself to eat, he had ageed to let L move into Mel- the spare room. Another promise he made Mello. That he would get someone to stay temporarily. He couldn't afford the place on his own _and_ go to school. L offered to help. Why not? Better than some stranger he can't trust. Better than _Near_. So slowly, he made an attempt to pack Mello's few belongings. He snuck a set of his lounge clothes, one of Mello's favorite books, and his rosary to his room where he tucked them all into a drawer for safe keeping. He would be prepared for when Mello did return in the coming year. Cause knowing him, it would be unannounced.

_TBC_

A/N: So, this story was just bouncing in my head for a long time. A lot of the chapters will have different songs, however, not all will. I needed to fill in gaps with regular chapters. Where I felt like going more in depth with other characters or because two chapters needed a connection. I hope you enjoy it. My first time giving this site a shot. 3 It actually already finished. I'm just slowly posting chapters in case I decide to change a small detail based on what reviewers (if I get any) say.


	2. Evacuate the Dance Floor

A/N: Ok, so before we start, I had no idea when I posted the first chapter that I would have to have any notes on the document already. I assumed it gave you a place to do all that. This is my first story on .

Disclaimer: I own nothing!

Warnings: Drug uses, sexual situations.

I don't have a beta yet. Sorry. I tried to proof read as much as I could. Hope it's ok. 3

**Chapter 2: EVACTUATE THE DANCE FLOOR**

_**(Oh)**_

_**Turn up the music**_

_**Let´s get out on the floor**_

_**I like to move it**_

_**Come and give me some more**_

One of his favorite songs came on as the explotion of sences hit him full force. He had dropped about a half hour ago. He had been dancing on and off with some of his "friends" up until now. He had 2 glow sticks crossed in each hand. Each one a different color. Some people liked to mess with LED lights, and he enjoyed them as well, but he prefered the old school glow sticks. He had been in a circle looking at the familiar faces from events like these. When Mello had left, he threw himself into his school work. And it just continued to get worse. Days turned into week, weeks into months, and before he knew it, he was graduating from University with a degree in Computer Science and hadn't seen nor heard from his best friend.

L had moved in to help him with the bills. His twin brother, BB hanging around as a consequence to that. Not that he didn't LIKE B, on the contrary, he was pretty cool. But he was constantly hitting on him. One night L had gathered their mutual friends and they all dragged him out to a club called, "Liquid." A Rave club. BB went regularly. L and Matsuda joining occasionally. Matt had been sulking in a corner when BB had approached him, a stupid grin on his face, and eyes wider than usual (if that was possible).. They talked for a bit when BB pulled out a small yellow pill. Said it was called a pokeball. Had the picture on it to match the theme. Matt wasn't stupid. He knew exactly what it was. He hesitated.

"Don't worry, man. I'll take care of you." BB had promised. Matt took it from his hands along with a bottle of water and knocked it back. What the hell, right? Since then, Matt had been hooked. BB kept true to his word. He made sure noone took advantage of the redhead. Matt now knew how it effected him, and was more in tune with his actions, but him and BB had an unspoken truce to have eachother's backs. And when someone got too close, the other would step in and play 'protective boyfriend' that they would laugh about later. They had gotten together a few times, Matt exploring his sexuality. But it was just sex to them.

Tonight was special. It was the one year anniversary since Matt had joined their group, Two years since Mello had left, but Matt wasn't thinking about that, not tonight. Even L and Matsuda came along. They didn't drop with them, but they stood in the circle, helping provide an awesome light show. Just cause they didn't do it, didn't mean they wouldn't play designated driver and help them make the most of it. For a while, he had to admit he had become addicted. Going out every weekend to go crazy with BB. To forget. But he even started to surpass his friend with benefits. Until BB had begged him to stop abusing it. Once every 6 months to a year was safe. Matt cried, but agreed, taking a nine month break before tonight. Matt looked up at the roof for a moment, his vision tunneling for that split second as the rush ran from his head, down his body, igniting his sences.

"Oh shit! He's starting to fucking roll!" He heard BB shout and the other laugh. Matt looked back around at his friends, a smile spreading over his face as the lights blurred into the images. He could see his friends in a circle, still moving around, everyone working together to make a light show the best they could for Matt to step into. Then he saw BB. He had stopped moving. The back of his hands were on his forehead. Face tilted upwards a bit, eyes wide, and mouth hanging open as a small gasp escaped his lips. Matt laughed at the sight. He pulled BB to him, and shoved him into a chair against the wall.

_**Watch me getting physical**_

_**Out of control, Ah**_

_**There's people watching me, Ah**_

_**I never miss a beat**_

Matt was standing in his lap. He dipped down every once in a while, in sort of a lap dance, moving his hands around him, knowing the others were moving around him. BB had moving his hands up his thighs and were resting on his hips, enjoying the entrance to his own roll. Matt's face glowed. Nights like these, he replaced his regular goggles with a pair that lit up. Every time you clicked the button on the side, you got a new color, and he had learned well how to move his hand the right way to unnoticably push the button in a light show. He was one of the best liquid dancers in town.

_**Still the night, kill the lights**_

_**Feel it under your skin**_

_**Time is right, keep it tight**_

'_**Cause it's pulling you in**_

BB was getting antsy and couldn't just sit still anymore. He had to move. First he began to just move his hands over Matt while he could. He knew they'd both get lost on the dance floor soon enough. At the moment, he wanted to enter into the experience feeling. Matt began to move his hand and body more seductively. Running his hands down BB's chest. As soon as BB joined him in moving his own glowsticks for Matt in a duel of lights, Matt felt like he'd explode.

_**Wrap it up you can't stop**_

'_**Cause it feels like an overdose**_

_**(feels like an overdose)**_

He couldn't take it anymore. The mix of the lights and his friends hand on him drove him absolutely crazy. He smiled at BB and pulled him to his feet, kissing him deeply before turning towards the dance floor. His friends were all into their rolls by now. They had a system. Mikami, a man with long black hair and glasses would pair up with Misa, an energetic blonde that Matt had once been interested in. He never could place WHY he had once liked her. She was actually rather annoying. A regular 'Rave Girl' until Mikami and her paired up. Then they only had eyes for eachother.

L and Matsuda usually just mved around, helping other people find their roll or just giving them a good light show. Matt had seen them on more than one occasion joining the Yagami siblings, who also didn't drop. Raito Yagami was a coworker of theirs. Him and L were detectives in the Criminal Intent unit. And over the past month, Matt was getting rather used to seeing Raito exiting L's room and joining him in the kitchen. Sayu was Raito's sister. She was still in University, but it was no secret that Matsuda was rather interested in the soon to be Doctor. Matt smiled and shook his head as he saw Raito pull L towards him, warding off some girl who kept staring at the panda. And then all thoughts vanished. He was in the middle of the floor, and he slowly began to move.

_**Oh, oh**_

_**Evacuate the dancefloor**_

_**Oh, oh**_

_**I'm infected by the sound**_

_**Oh, oh**_

_**Stop this beat is killing me**_

_**Hey Dr. DJ let the music take me underground**_

_**(Everybody in the club)**_

_**Oh, oh**_

_**Evacuate the dancefloor**_

_**Oh, oh**_

_**I'm infected by the sound**_

_**(Everybody in the club)**_

_**Oh, oh**_

_**Stop this beat is killing me**_

_**Hey Dr. DJ come burn this place right down to the ground**_

Matt was always in total command when he went to the center of the floor. A circle would form around his as people would watch, and a few would join. BB always among the joining. He never really paid attention to who was doing what. He just lost himself in the beats, song after song. Every once in a while stopping to sip some water. Or he'd work it into the dance, fascinated with how a glowstick would luminate the clear liquid, like he was drinking the source of power for a rave. Lasers and a fog machine would always be going. The atmosphere was so intense. People brushing up onto him. Some just satisfied with touching him or joining him for a moment, others dejected when he wouldn't respond in any real way. He would always feel aroused and crave the touch, but he knew it was the drug. And he never lost his ability to say no. Entertaining with his dancing skills and lights was one thing, but his body was his own.. And occationally BB's. A man has his needs.

_**(Oh)**_

_**My body's aching**_

_**System overload**_

_**Temperature's rising**_

_**I'm about to explode**_

Speak of the devil, and he shall appear. BB came into his view, catching his eye and smiling. He grabbed Matt's hand and pulled him towards the stage where there were a few cages for dancing set up. He knew BB was just trying to get him somewhere that people could still enjoy his show, but he could have him to himself. Looks like it's going to be one of _those _nights then.

_**Watch me I'm intoxicated**_

_**Taking the show, Ah**_

_**It`s got me hypnotized, Ah**_

_**Everybody step aside**_

Matt dominated the cage he shared with BB. He saw the lights in the crowd which further ignited his roll, along with BB's hands roaming all over him from behind. His own arousal pressed into him. He jerked his hips backwards once with a smirk on his lips, and was rewarded with a groan in his ear. He then felt those hands move down to his hips and BB rolled his own hims into him, pulling his hips back for added preasure. He could feel the vibrations of BB's laugh through his chest, and into his back.

_**Still the night, kill the lights**_

_**Feel it under your skin**_

_**Time is right, keep it tight**_

'_**Cause it's pulling you in**_

He knew it'd be a long night. Especially when BB uttered those words into his ear.

"Is your place set up?" Nothing spectacular or romantic. But that wasn't what their relationship was based off of. It was trusting friends and helping with the occational sexual frustration. Matt smirked again. He had set up the stereo and stobe light before he left. He nodded and looked over his shoulder at BB's smiling face.

_**Wrap it up you can't stop**_

'_**Cause it feels like an overdose**_

_**(feels like an overdose)**_

They made their way out of the cage and down to the floor again, stopping at the group of sober designated drivers. They made it a habit to bail the actual rave kinda early so they could let the drivers let loose with shots at home. They may not drop, but they still liked to have fun. L took in the sight of Matt's flustered appearence and threw his head back in a laugh.

"I assume this concludes the evening and bring on the after party?" He had stated. Matt nodded. "Ok, lets go. I invited Raito-san and Sayu-chan to attend as well"

"Sounds kool. I just stocked the cabinet." Matt smirked, knowing he'd definately be seeing Raito in the morning with a cup of coffee. They made their way out, saying good bye to Misa and Mikami, and piled into the two cars before departing.

_**Oh, oh**_

_**Evacuate the dancefloor**_

_**Oh, oh**_

_**I'm infected by the sound**_

_**Oh, oh**_

_**Stop this beat is killing me**_

_**Hey Dr. DJ let the music take me underground**_

_**(Everybody in the club)**_

_**Oh, oh**_

_**Evacuate the dancefloor**_

_**Oh, oh**_

_**I'm infected by the sound**_

_**(Everybody in the club)**_

_**Oh, oh**_

_**Stop this beat is killing me**_

_**Hey Dr. DJ come burn this place right down to the ground**_

They arrived at the appartment and Matt and BB were rushing around turning everything on. the other four moving more slowly. They idn't understand the urgency you felt when you wanted to continue your roll. It was uncontrolable. As Matt hit the last light off he saw BB in the living room, dancing to the music again. The stobe light was the one thing that the clubs never had. It always brought you to a new high. L was passing out beers to Matsuda and Raito and they joined Sayu who was already sitting on the couch, drinking a coke. She was after all still only 20, and being with her big brother, she'd never get to a beer. Matt shook his head and joined BB.

_**Come on and evacuate**_

_**Feel the club is heating up**_

_**Move on and accelerate**_

_**Push it to the top**_

_**Come on and evacuate**_

_**Feel the club is heating up**_

_**Move on and accelerate**_

_**You don't have to be afraid**_

_**Now guess who's back with a brand new track?**_

_**They got everybody in the club going mad**_

_**So everybody in the back**_

_**Get your back up off the wall and just shake that thang**_

Eventually everyone was dancing. Intoxicated more than enough. Matsuda was stumbling over his feet trying to dance with a laughing Sayu. L and Raito were grinding together, beers in hand. Matt and BB were starting to get slower after the hours of non stop dancing. However they knew full well that their night was far from over. This is where they differed from the 'e-tards'. Most would drop another pill or two, not wanting the roll to end. BB had taught Matt the dangers of rolling. How to do it safely. When you start coming down, it's your brain telling you you've had enough. You have released enough seritonin and it needs a break.

_**Go crazy**_

_**Yo lady**_

_**Yo baby**_

_**Let me see you wreck that thang**_

_**Now drop it down low, low**_

_**Let me see you take it to the dancefloor, yo**_

_**Everybody in the club**_

_**(Evacuate the dancefloor)**_

_**Everybody in the club**_

_**(I'm infected by the sound)**_

_**Everybody in the club**_

_**(Stop this beat is killing me)**_

_**Hey Dr. DJ let the music take me underground**_

BB was not in one of the chairs and Matt was facing him in his lap. They still moved to the music, but it was more relaxed. Raito was giving Sayu his car keys, opting to stay with L (BIG surprise, right?), and Sayu was offering to drop Matsuda off at home on her way. Matt decided it was time for him and BB to depart to his room. Standing and pulling BB to his feet, they said good-bye to Sayu and Matsuda and a wink to L as Raito said he'd be right back after helping his sister get the other man into the car safely.

_**Oh, oh**_

_**Evacuate the dancefloor**_

_**Oh, oh**_

_**I'm infected by the sound**_

_**Oh, oh**_

_**Stop this beat is killing me**_

_**Hey Dr. DJ let the music take me underground**_

He was completely lost again. He had set up a black light in his room earlier. The light glow and a slower mix of techno music the perfect way to come down. He was acutely aware of the hands moving over his naked body, moving his own in the same fashion. He still wore his goggles, though the light was off. He always wore them when in bed with another person. For unknown reason, he felt too exposed without them. It was always like this. Matt would be so wound up that he would take BB for a while, and eventually they would take a break and Matt would have a cigarette or two before BB would climb on top of him for round two, or so, taking Matt this time. Sometimes while Matt still held his cigarette. Finally he would let out on long and low groan and the explotion he was waiting for all night would burst from inside him, and he'd hear a faint moan in his ear as BB followed and would roll over next to him. They rarely cuddled afterward, feeling completely satisfied, and scared to move knowing their bodies were still sensative as the last of the drug was wearing off. So instead they just let sleep consume them.

_**(Everybody in the club)**_

_**Oh, oh**_

_**Evacuate the dancefloor**_

_**Oh, oh**_

_**I'm infected by the sound**_

_**(Everybody in the club)**_

_**Oh, oh**_

_**Stop this beat is killing me**_

_**Hey Dr. DJ come burn this place right down to the ground **_

In the morning, Matt woke up alone. Not unusual. He slowly sat up, feeling his joints pop as he stretched. Pulling on a pair of lounge pants that were covered in Mario 1up Mushrooms, he exited his room, following the aroma of coffee and pancakes. He entered the dining room and found BB sitting at the table in his black t-shirt and dark wash blue jeans he had left here the night before, forehead on the table, mug of coffee in his right hand. L was next to him, sitting in his normal way, crouched in the chair, eating a piece of cake. He shuddered. Too much suger in the morning.

After a night of rolling, you never wana eat in the morning. All you want to do is sit there and do absolutely nothing. And L and Raito would usually do nothing with himself and BB, just making sure they would eat. Matt would eventually turn on a game and the 4 of them would shoot the crap out of eachother, none bothering to dress in more than absolutely nessecary.

BB looked up momentarily to acknowledge Matt with a slight nod. "Oh awesome! You have shrooms on your pants. Next time Matt." He smirked and put his head back down, groaning slightly when he hit it a little harder than he meant to.

Matt lightly smiled at the twins, running his fingers through BB's hair as he passed him, earning a groan of pleasure. He entered the kitchen to see Raito flipping a pancake.

"Good morning." He lightly smiled and picked up a plate and putting the last pancake on it, handing it to Matt before grabbing another plate with pancakes for himself. "Want to force Beyond into eating that for me?" He pointed to a plate with four pieces of toast. Matt smirked.

"No problem." He then grabbed the strawberry jam and syrup along with the two plates and followed Raito into the dinning room once again. He sat down next to BB and pushed the toast to him. "Eat."

"Make me." Was the muffled voice. Matt rolled his eyes and popped the top to the jam off, dipping a finger into it, and pulling BB's head up by his hair. As he went to protest in rage, Matt shoved the jam covered finger into his mouth. "Mmmmmm" BB sucked it off of his finger and reached for the jar, piling some onto the toast. Raito laughed at the action.

"Want some toast with that jam?" He joked and everyone laughed as BB just grunted. After breakfast, they put the dishes into soapy water, none of them wanting to actually put energy into washing at the moment, and went to the livingroom. Matt stretched his legs out as he sat on the floor with his back against the couch. BB sat in one chair and grabbed the second controler as Matt loaded a game. Raito took the opposite chair as L sat in front of him, stretching out uncharictalisticly as his lover played with his hair. Each of them were hanged a contorler as well. They were playing for a while, only missing Matt's usually enthusiastic shouts, when there was a knock at the door.

"Probably Sayu to check on Raito." L mumbled. "Matt, get the door." Matt snapped his head to his roommate.

"Why the hell do _I_ have to get it?" He almost yelled, not wanting to move.

"Cause I am currently playing against Beyond, and you're not. And it's our house. Raito and Beyond are our guests, so it's only logical and polite that _you_ answer the door." He stated matter of fact. Matt groaned and dropped his controler, not in the mood to argue, knowing there was no way to win against L's logic. There was another knock and he forced himself up.

"I'm coming!" He yelled as he walked to the door. Unlocking it and swinging it open, "He's fine Sayu, what do you-" His voice just stopped working. He couldn't move. Infront of him was a familiar, yet scared face.

"Hey Matt.. Long time no see." Blue eyes boar into his own orange tinted goggle covered green eyes, and all he could do was stare.

A/N By the way, not ALL the chapters will be songfics. But I just had this whole story bothering me and needed to write it. The gaps are filled in with chapters that don't have a "theme song." I REALLY hope you're enjoying it.


	3. Break Me, Shake Me

A/N: Nothing much to say except that I hope you all are enjoying this. =)

Disclaimer: I OWN NOTHING!

Warnings: Just swearing.

Once again, No Beta.. Sorry.. I did the best proof reading I can.. But if I do i too much, I keep changing stuff..

**CHAPTER 3: BREAK ME, SHAKE ME**

_**I never thought I'd change my **_

_**opinion again **_

_**But you moved me in a way that I've **_

_**never known **_

_**You moved me in a way that I've **_

_**never known **_

_**But straight away you just moved **_

_**into position again **_

_**You abused me in a way that I've **_

_**never known **_

_**You abused me in a way that I've **_

_**never known **_

"Mello?" So many emotions accompanied that name. At first he was shocked to see his life long best friend standing in front of him after three years. His shock turned to happiness and excitement as he took in the sight and began to comprehend that Mello was really back. His riding boots were only half done up, leather pants tucked into them. There was a bit of skin showing above the laces of his pants, before his eyes met the lether vest. His helmet was tucked under his left arm, leather jacket slung over his right shoulder. He noticed his sunglasses were in the hand that held his jacket in place. Blonde hair fell around his face. More riggid than it used to be. But then as Matt's eyes found that scar, he was utterly pissed. What the hell had happened to him? The scar ran over his left shoulder, no doubt covering that side of his chest. And his face. Somehow the burn skipped over his jaw and mouth. But it was all around his eye. Mello watched as each of the emotions played out on Matt's face. Even with those damn goggles and after three years apart, he could read his best friend like an open book. When his eyes met his once again, Mello finally spoke.

_**So break me shake me hate me **_

_**take me over **_

_**When the madness stops then you **_

_**will be alone **_

_**Just break me shake me hate me **_

_**take me over **_

_**When the madness stops then you **_

_**will be alone **_

"It's not as bad as it looks you know. Are you going to invite us in?" For a moment Matt couldn't get past that first sentence. Not as bad as it looks? Ya, right. But then he noticed Mello motioning to his left. A bit behind him stood a slender Japanese woman. Her black hair cascaded down her shoulders, and she too held a helmet, and was wearing a leather jacket. Hurt. Pain. It all rushed back to him. Mello left him behind three years ago, no word to tell him he was ok, and now he was at his doorstep with his new girlfriend? "This is Naomi." He vaguely heard Mello say. Naomi. Now Matt's least favorite name. Without saying a word, he shot Mello a painfully accusing look before turning and walking inside, leaving the door open. Mello was a bit surprised as he watched Matt's naked back walk away before following.

_**So you're the kind who deals with the **_

_**games in the mind **_

_**Well you confuse me in a way that **_

_**I've never known **_

_**You confuse me in a way that I've **_

_**never known **_

Mello lead Naomi into the livingroom, and was met by three pairs of eyes. He saw L sitting on the floor in front of a brunette man he didn't know. His eyes were at first shocked, open wide. The brunette's face was mostly blank. Only a slight look of recognition showed in his eyes, no doubt having heard about him, and finally putting a face to the name. He noticed Matt was on the floor in front of the couch, pounding furiosly at the buttons. But the last person in the chair to Matt's left is what got to him. It was like looking at L, but with eyes a color he had never seen. A brown so deep it was red. They were narrowed into slits, full of accusations. Mello narrowed his eyes in return, and the guy just smirked. What the hell was his problem?

"Naomi-chan?" His attention was brought back to L who had a wide, genuine smile on his face. Naomi smiled as well and practically ran to his side, bowing respectfully.

"L-sama. It has been too long." Mello put his stuff down behind the couch and Naomi did the same. He then sat in the middle of the couch, so Naoimi could sit on the floor next to L as they caught up.

_**So break me shake me hate me **_

_**take me over **_

_**When the madness stops then you **_

_**will be alone **_

_**Just break me shake me hate me **_

_**take me over **_

_**When the madness stops then you **_

_**will be alone **_

Matt was fuming. How dare he! He was aware of BB and Mello having a stare down, with him right in the middle. He was also trying to listen to L and Naomi's convorsation. He only really heard bits and pieces. It sounded like work talk. He guessed Naomi was in law enforcement as well. Then he heard the one thing that made Matt's heart drop into his stomache.

"Nonsence! You and Mello don't need to get a hotel! I'm sure Matt wouldn't mind allowing Mello to room with him, and you can room with me. Isn't that right, Matt?" L was smiling innocently. He knew damn well Matt wasn't ok with it. His jaw clenched and he forced out an answer.

"Of course, L. What a great idea. But are you sure Mello wouldn't prefer to room with his own girlfriend?" He smashed the buttons harder under his fingers, missing Naomi's blush and Mello's confused glare.

"Um, Matt? Naomi is engaged" He heard L say. Oh, so Mello was _marrying_ this chick? Awesome! "How is Ray, by the way?" Wait, what? Naomi's smile had faltered. She had tears in her eyes, and when she tried to speak, she chocked on her words.

"L, now may not be the best time to have this convorsation." Mello grunted out, not able to look at Naomi. L was confused and was about to concede.

"No, it's ok. I should be able to talk about it by now, right? It HAS been 6 months." She put an arm on Mello's thigh reassuringly and he finally met her gaze and nodded. Turning back to L, she began to explain. "You see, Mello was working undercover for the FBI. He had gotten an 'in' with a Mafia crime boss. So we had him go in. We were going to bust them on selling weapons at a warehouse. Ray went in for the raid. When things went really south, Mello had to detinate a bomb. He assumed he'd die when he did it, but wanted to save the lives he could."

"But i fucking lived and he didn't!" Mello was pissed. Guilt eating at him. Matt had stopped playing his game, and had been focusing on Naomi's words once he heard 'Mafia'.

"Mello! It's _not_ you fault! Do you hear me?" Naomi was shaking her finger at him as she spoke. Mello just looked away and she sighed. Matt had been looking at him, so when he turned his face, their eyes locked. He knew it was selfish, but he couldn't help it. Matt was mad at him. So he did the only thing he could do in his state of mind. He slowly stood and walked out of the room to his own, feeling Mello's gaze on him the entire way.

_**She says, "I can help you, but what **_

_**do you say?" **_

_**But it's not free baby, you'll have **_

_**to pay **_

_**You just keep me contemplating, that **_

_**your soul is slowly fading**_

He felt like an ass. Jumping to conclutions. He always did seem to do that where Mello was concerned. Why was he so jealous of her anyways? He guessed it was because Mello hadn't even let him know he was ok for three years. He had been pacing in his room, smoking a cigarette, while he thought about everything, trying to calm down. He then snubbed out the cherry when it reached the filter, and threw himself onto his bed, face down. He was vaguely aware of his door opening, and heard the light click as it closed.

"Go away, B. I'm not in the mood right now." He said without looking up.

"Is that his name?" An entirely different voice spoke, causing Matt to quickly look up. His eyes met with blue and the emotions ran through him once again, but now he was mostly confused. He had so many questions! But he didn't know where or how to begin. Mello wasn't exactly the most open person. "Is he your boyfriend, Matt? I didn't even know you swung that way." He smirked. He fucking smirked! Matt glared.

"That's really not your business is it?" he growled. Mello's piercing blue eyes set into glare. At least this was the Mello he knew. The Mello he could deal with . Predictable.

"You're my best friend, Matt!" His voice rose with every work. Matt shot up out of bed and was face to face with the blonde.

"I'm your best friend? Are you fucking kidding me, Mello? You left me behind! Promised to keep in touch. Promised to come back for me. Every promise was _broken_! I haven't heard from you in _three years_! Wondering if you're ok. If you're even _alive_! Nothing! That's what I got from you. Nothing but the pain of you leaving and forgetting about me! So don't you even dare play that card with me!" He punched the door next to Mello's head. He didn't even flinch. For a moment they just stood there. Mello against the door, Matt so close that they almost touched, left hand sprawled out on the door to Mello's right, right hand still in a fist on his left. Then Mello pushed him back, and he fell to a seated position on his bed.

_**God don't you know that I live with a ton **_

_**of regret? **_

_**'Cause I used to move you in a way that **_

_**you've never known **_

_**But then I accused you in a way that **_

_**you've never known **_

_**But you hurt me in a way that I've **_

_**never known...**_

"Don't you know how much I wanted to talk to you? How much I wanted to have you meet up with me. But it couldn't happen! I was undercover in the _Mafia,_ Matt! I couldn't risk the mission, or more importantly, I couldn't risk your life! I got Naomi's fiance, Ray Penbar, _killed_! Look at me! I almost died! If you would've been there, i don't even want to consider that you of all people could be 6 feet under by now. I wouldn't be able to live with that! Yes, you _are_ my best friend. I thought about you every fuckng day. It kept me going when I thought help would never come. When I was in the hospital and it was touch and go, you kept me alive, Matt. I knew I'd never forgive myself, no _you_ would never forgive me if I gave up." Mello was standing in front of him with his hands on his hips. Matt looked away. Grabbing a cigarette and lighting it, he took a deep breath, feeling the smoke fill his lungs, and exhaled slowly before looking back at Mello.

"I'm sorry, Mello. But it hurt. Three years, man. Three fucking years! Not one word." Both looked away from the other. "Of course you and your friend can stay. You two and L can work out who's sleeping where. If you wana bunk with me or Naomi, whatever." He then stood and walked out of the room, pushing past the silent leather clad blonde.

_**Break me shake me hate me take **_

_**me over **_

_**When the madness stops then you **_

_**will be alone **_

_**So won't you break me shake me **_

_**hate me take me over **_

_**When the madness stops then you **_

_**will be alone **_

When he reached the livingroom, he sat back down in his spot on the floor, picking up his controler once again.

"Um, where's Mello?" Naomi asked him. He took a drag of his cigarette dangling between his lips, not bothering to move it.

"My room. Door at the end of the hallway." He didn't move. He just watched his game as he viciously shot at the enemy. Naomi got up and made her way to his room with a quiet 'thank you' falling from her lips.

"We heard just about everything, Matt. Do you need me to stay?" BB asked him. Matt had figured they heard. The walls are thin enough before you add his and Mello's yelling.

"Nah, B. It's kool. You work tomorrow. Go get some real rest and I'll see you tomorrow." He spoke. BB nodded, running his fingers though his crimson locks before standing.

"If you need me, just call." He watched Matt nod and began to walk away, stopping a moment before he left the livingroom. "Hey, Matt? Just tell him that you love him, and make life a lot easier for us all." Matt choked when he heard this, as he had been inhaling at the time. The cigarette landed on his bare arm and he cursed as he fumbled around, being burnt. When he went to turn to BB, he was gone. Instead he only saw L crouched down next to him on the floor, looking intently at him. Instinctively, he pulled his face back.

"BB is right, Matt." When he received a clear, 'what the fuck' look, he continued. "I see. You haven't even admitted it to yourself, have you?" With that, L stood in his hunched form, and walked away, leaving Matt to his own thoughts.

_**Listen, baby **_

_**You'll be, you'll be alone **_

_**Break me shake me hate me take **_

_**me make me **_

_**Fake me break me shake me hate **_

_**me take me **_

_**Break me **_

They were insane! He didn't love Mello. Well, not in the way he knew they were implying. He was his best friend, sure. But that was it. Completely platonic. It didn't mean anything that Matt's heart raced faster when he was too close. Or that sometimes he would just smell chocolate when he missed Mello. Or that those piercing blue eyes made his stomach twist. If you saw them, you'd understand. They're fucking intense! They were just crazy, he convinced himself. Besides, he knew now that he couldn't count on Mello to be there whenever he was needed the most.


	4. A Secret Revieled

A/N: Ok, So I'm super excited that people have reviewed. Originally I was just writing cause my friend told me I should when I complained 1 too many times about people writing stories who had not 1 little clue about drug and alcohol use (other than the movies).. I'm glad people are liking it. This chapter was made mostly for a filler of information and slight comic relief. Inspired by one of my favorite episodes of _Friends.._ Cliche.. I know. But it was beging to be done.

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Warnings: No beta. Language. Implied sexual situations.

**Chapter 4: A Secret Revieled**

It had been two months since Mello had returned with Naomi. They had spoken to L and were sticking around to help on big case. Mello expressed how proud he was of Matt when he heard that he worked in the same division as L. They all did really. Though how and why was different. They focused on con artists. White collar criminals.

Things had slowly gotten better, and it almost felt normal again.. _Almost_. Matt found that when he and Mello would hang out and play games, work on cases, or sleep in his bed, there was something different. Damn L and BB. Since they said that, Matt had been noticing things about Mello a best friend shouldn't. It was just cause he had been denying himself and BB. Built up sexual tension. Maybe he should go stay at BB's house tonight after the party? He couldn't exactly have him stay over in his bed. He sighed as L let in Raito, Sayu, and Matsuda with a smile. He immediately noticed two things. 1. Matsuda and Sayu kept glancing at eachother and blushing, and 2. Raito was oblivious. This wouldn't turn out well.

"Hey Matsuda, what happened after the party the other weekend? We've only been seeing you at work until you disappear." Definately wasn't going to end well. Not with L's questioning and his perceptiveness and need to know everything, and yet complete obliviation to knowing when to quit. It was true. The usual routine every day was that after work they'd get a drink if it was friday. Dinner or just hang out on weekdays. Regardless, they all hung out. Sometimes Raito and L would sneak off. Hell, even BB and Matt snuck off once in a while. But Matsuda was always there.

"Oh, I've just been busy." The fucker actually glanced at Sayu and blushed lightly, causing her to look down and do the same. L's eyes noticed the exchange and looked a bit confused. This caused Raito to look at the pair as well. Oh fuck. Raito's eyes went wide before narrowing, and his jaw set.

"You mother fucker! I'll fucking kill you!" Raito lunged for Matsuda, who dodged and the chase began. Matsuda winding around the couch to put the object between them. Sayu was yelling at her brother to stop, and Raito just ignored her and continued to treaten the other man who dared to touch his baby sister, and Matsuda pleading for his life, and saying he regretted nothing. Matt and L just watched at the moment. Then Raito let out a loud primitive growl and lunged over the couch, tackling Matsuda into the coffee table that had been moved back after the last party. It broke. Mello and Naomi came rushing out of opposite rooms and Matt was laughing his ass off at L's disapproving look.

"What the fuck is going on?" Mello demanded.

"Apparently the reason we haven't seen Matsuda for the past two weeks is cause Sayu hasn't really been at the library." Matt laughed again. Mello's eyes widened.

"You mean he was fucking his best friends sister?" Mello stated matter of fact. Raito looked up at him for a moment.

"Shut the fuck up! That's my god damn _baby_ sister you asshole! My best friend and my sister!" The distraction was enough for Matsuda to switch their positions and he pinned Raito to the floor.

"It's not like that at all, Raito!" He was pleading, trying to break through his friends rage.

"So you _never_ laid a hand on Sayu?" Matsuda just stared at him for a moment. All the answer he needed. And it started again. Matsuda was thrown from Raito, and he scrambled to get away, but Raito grabbed his legs and he fell to the floor again.

"Raito, please! I'm in love with her!" Matsuda's yell caused the world to stop. Matt stopped laughing. Sayu stopped yelling at her brother. Raito stopped trying to hit him. Sayu's eyes went wide and she walked over to them, looking down at Matsuda, who suddenly looked even more afraid. Raito was pulled up and away by his now official boyfriend of one month.

"Y-You love me?" She whispered. Matsuda nodded slowly as he too tried to get to his feet. They stared at eachother for a moment until Sayu's face broke out into a wide grin. "I love you too." She let out before jumping onto Matsuda, wrapping her legs around his waist, arms around his neck, and capturing his lips in a passionate kiss. Raito looked away uncomfortably and Naomi let out an 'aw!' When they pulled away, Sayu slid to her feet again, and the pair faced Raito.

"Raito?" He looked up at them, weary of what he'd see. "I'm sorry we didn't tell you. But I really do love Sayu. Can you be ok with this? I refuse to walk away from her, and I rather not lose my best friend and Sayu's only living family." Raito stared at the two for a while.

"Are you kidding me?" He looked angry, and Sayu and Matsuda were worried until Raito's face broke out into a grin. "My best friend and my sister!" He pulled them into a hug, and congradulations went around.

"Ok, now that that's settled. Can we get the fuck out of here now? Oh, and you guys are replacing that tabel by the way." Matt broke to silence. Naomi and Mello looked at him confused. "Mello, you're good with dancing, yeah? Naomi, I hope you like dancing as well, cause once BB gets here, we're out." He smiled as Mello looked kinda scared. He knew Mello would be shocked that he of all people wanted to go dance.

"Whoa, what'd I miss?" BB had walked in and saw that the table was smashed and Matsuda had his arm around Sayu. Matsuda had some blood on his face, a black eye, and busted lip. Raito looked dishieved and had a small cut on his cheekbone. Wonder who won _that _one..

"Speak of the devil and he shall appear!" Matt said enthusiasticly. "We found out Matsuda was sleeping with Sayu, and Raito kicked his ass until he admitted he's in love with her, and then she admitted to lovng him in return, and now Raito's ok with it." Matt said quickly in one breath, just wanting to get out of the room that had Mello's piercing blue eyes boring into him.

"Awesome. Then lets go." He put his arm around Matt's shoulders, catching on to the younger man's urgency, and they all walked out the door, a confused Mello and Naomi at the end.


	5. Take It Off

A/N: Ok.. So as a reviewer has stated, they say the sonfic format is distracting.. So I changed this one up a bit. Let me knowif it works better. Instead I put a verse of the song that inspired it in the beginning and where there would have been lyrics, there is now "-" to break it up.. It took a little longer because I finally got back online and decided to change it to something I hope is better. Sorry for the wait. But to make it up for you this is the second chapter I'm uploading in the same night. I haven't decided if I'll add more tonight.. We'll see.

Disclaimer: I (unfortunately) do NOT own the characters of Death Note.

Warnings: Mentions of drugs and alcohol. Sexual situation. Language. (Come on, story is M for a reason.)

**Chapter 5: Take It Off**

_**Lose your mind**_

_**Lose it now**_

_**Lose your clothes**_

_**In the crowd**_

_**We're delirious**_

_**Tear it down**_

_**Till the sun comes back around**_

Mello was shocked to say the least. To think that Matt- _his_ Matt- frequented a place like this. There was lasers moving around to the speed ot the music. Fog machines going off. People dancing so close that it was like the whole crowd moved as one. Everyone, and he meant _everyone_ had some sort of lights. Glowsticks, LED's, anything. Matt was a raver now? He noticed the group had met up with some other people to the right of the crowd, away from the stage on the left where there were people dancing in cages and a DJ was spinning. As he approached the group, he saw that Matt was wearing a different pair of goggles. These one lit up, and they were currently green, Mello's secret favorite color. Matt smiled.

"This is Mello and Naomi." He pointed them out and then turned to the two people he had been talking to. "This is Misa and Mikami." He pointed to a lolita looking rave girl with blonde pigtails, and a man with black rimmed glasses and long dark hair. Mello was still so confused.

"Misa-Misa is excited to meet the famous Mello! And a friend of Matt's is a friend of Misa's!" She shook Naomi's hand and Matt elbowed her. Famous huh? So he talked about him a lot apparently. Matt smiled sheepishly at him and shrugged a shoulder. Soon, L, Raito, and BB came back with a bunch of beers and a round of shots.

Everyone rose their shot glasses as BB yelled a, "Welcome Mello, about damn time, and the beautiful Naomi." Matt glared at him before taking his shot. Naomi blushed at the compliment. So Matt was jealous that BB was complimenting someone else?

"Let's fucking dance!" Matt shouted and swiftly joined the crowd with BB. Mello watched as they made it to the middle of the crowd and most people smiled and greeted them, excited to watch the show that was about to happen.

Mello had been sitting at a table with L and Raito for about an hour now, watching Matt. He never knew he could move like that. He heard L laugh again.

"Mello, why don't you just ask Matt to dance?" Raito was saying. Mello finally took his eyes away too look at the honey brunette.

"I'm just shocked. Matt's usually so awkward around people. And he never used to dance. And he's moving like _that_ with a _guy_! Not that I have an issue with gays, it's just Matt never told me that he liked guys and I come home and he has a boyfriend." Mello finished off his 3rd beer and grabbed another unopened bottle.

"He's not his boyfriend." L laughed. Mello gave him a confused look, waiting for him to explain. L sighed. "He'd kill me if I told you all of this, but- You see, they're just friends. Friends with benefits I guess you could say. After he graduated from University, we dragged Matt here to celebrate, and to get his mind off of you. He was pretty hurt. I'm not sure about the details of how exactly it happened. But BB of course suggested it. Matt eventually gave it. He was curious about his unexplored sexuality. Said he always hooked up with women cause it's what he was expected to do. So when him and BB were talking about needing to get laid, but neither wanted to start a string of one night stands, BB suggested they casually have sex. Matt's curiousity peaked, and thus started the 2 year long, BB and Matt riends with benefits. They don't get jealous over other people. They've both attempted to be with other guys and girls. It just never worked out. Noone can handle our jobs. So once in a while we all like to let lose and get a little wasted, and occationally, that ends with BB staying over." L shrugged at the end. For some reason it enraged Mello. Matt was allowing this guy to fuck him casually? He never thought he'd do that. Matt was the type of boy who was supposed to find a nice girl (or guy) and settle down. Mello's eyes shifted back to the stripped clad red head. How wrong was he? Matt was a _man. _A _man _who obviously had needs and was just trying to take care of them without the extra risks.

Matt was losing himself in the music. Nothing like a roll, but still, it felt nice to let loose. He purposely rolled his hips back into BB's, trying to get the message through that he might be up for an all nighter. He heard BB chuckle, and felt his breath on his ear.

"Now now, Matt, I don't think Mello would approve. He's barely taken his eyes off of you for two hours." He breathed into his ear. Matt couldn't explain how that made him feel. Confused at Mello's actions. Anger at BB for assuming he cared. Both? He refused to think further on the knot in his stomach, other than arousal. He rolled his hips arain, dragging a small groan from his partner. "Ok, ok. I get it Matt. You don't care. Just don't teasse me _too_ much or we won't last out here much longer."

Matt had taken his vest and shirt off, along with BB losing his own shirt. Mello saw the way Matt had shoved his ass against BB's crotch. He wasn't blind. He had tried to ignore it. So he asked Naomi to dance with him. She accepted and they walked into the crowd as well.

Naomi was definintely a great dancer, and Mello was having a good time. But every once in a while he would hear BB laugh and it would draw his attention back to the red head in his arms.

"Mello, go steal him away. You heard L. It's just casual sex. Ask him dance. I'm sure Beyond won't mind. I can grab him if you want so you can move to Matt." Naomi offered. Mello looked at her.

"What? No. It's not like that and you know it." Naomi rolled her eyes and turned her back from him to continue dancing.

A few hours later the group found themselves at the table taking shots. Matsuda and Sayu agreed to be designated drivers tonight since Raito would kill Sayu for drinking anyways. They were all laughing and talking about old times. L, Matt, and Mello dominated the talking. Telling stories about how the younger two were always getting into trouble and L had to bail them out.

"I couldn't just let my number 2 and 3 students get expelled, you know." L was saying in defense. Mello's eyes narrowed.

"Stupid fucking sheep." He yelled and took another shot. Matt bust out laughing. "What the hell appened to him anyways?" Matt eyed him cautiously.

"He's L's assistant, Mel." Matt spoke slowly, fearing for his life. Mello growled at his empty shot glass and poured more tequilla. "Hey, BB, weren't you _always_ causing trouble back when you and L were kids? before mine and Mello's reign?" Matt atempted to change the subject. Mello's eyes rounded in realization.

"That's where I know your name! I feel so stupid. You're a Whammy's legend!" Mello yelled. BB smiled and it began. They both started talking about the awesome pranks they both pulled in their seperate reigns at Whammy's. Matt rolled his eyes at his best friend's sudden change of heart towards his sometimes lover.

"Oh man, we should all go back to the apartment." Matt was saying. "We can play actual drinking games there." Everyone agreed and began to collect their things. Misa and Matsuda were lost in the crowd, rolling like always. The e-tards that always stayed all night. They made their way to the cars outside.

"Mello, let me drive your bike." Matt grabbed his keys. Mello was about to tell him off when he held up a hand. "Be reasonable. It's technically half mine. You've had way more to drink than me. Noone else knows how to drive this thing either. You can ride bitch." He laughed at the last comment as he threw his leg over to straddle the bike. Mello was speachless. Was he allowed to think that was sexy? When did sexy and Matt come together? Must be the alcohol. He was so stunned that all he could do was hop on behind Matt, who was accepting Naomi's helmet.

"Wow.. You made hims speechless!" Mello didn't even hear her. All he heard was Matt's laugh.

Nothing had felt better to Mello than riding with Matt as he sped through the streets to his aparment. He used his drunken state as an excuse to press up against him more than needed. He would move his hands to Matt's hips when they would stop at a light, and slide his hands back around the slender waist when he would speed of again. He even dared to hope the groan he heard once wasn't just his imagination. Later, he could think about why he did it. Later, he could wonder why he was couldn't remove the satisfied smirk from his face. Later. But all too soon, it ended.

Matt and Mello were the first to arrive. So Matt started to set things up so he could avoid Mello. It wasn't his fault. He was drunk. He hadn't known what he was doing. Almost anyone could have been sliding his hands over his body and he'd get turned on, right? It had nothing to do with the fact that it was the short tempered, leather clad, blonde hair, blue eyed man doing it.

He set up Rock Band in the livingroom, tossing the pieces of the broken coffee table to the balcony. He put some cards out on the dinningroom table and covered it with unopened beers and the bottle of tequilla and some shot glasses. Matt then sat down and poured himself a much needed shot and threw it back.

"You know you're not supposed to drink alone, right?" Mello pulled out another chair, pulling another glass towards him. Matt smirked and poured the two shots and they both threw back their heads.

"Do you have any salt and lime?" Naomi asked as she lead the group in. Matt shook his head, afraid if he spoke, he would let out the deep moan building in his throat from Mello's leg rubbing against his as he turned to greet his friend, and his ass in his face as he stood, his hips moving seductively as he walked towards her, with not one clue what he was doing to his red haired friend.

"Do you see it now? How badly you want _him_, Matt?" Matt looked over at BB who spoke lowly in his ear.

"It's just the alcohol. I already told you that I'm going home with _you_ tonight." BB just smirked at him.

"We'll see." He said before he stood. "Matt, get your drum sticks. I call bass!" And so it began.


	6. Truth or Dare

A/N: I was going to use "Never Have I Ever" until I made BB have a "plan".. Yes, that could be dangerous.. lol.

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters of Death Note. If I did, you wouldn't of had to make up x amount of yoai's to "explain" what "really" happened when Raito was chained to L. ;)

Speaking of.. When I realized I'd be using the word "light(s)" a lot, I decided to use Raito as his name to lesson confusion..

Warnings: Same as ever. Don't worry.. It will get better. ;)

**Chapter 6: Truth or Dare**

After 2 hours of Rock Band, shots, and beer, everyone decided to sit around the table to begin drinking games. The games kept changing as attention spans shortened. Then Matt heard the last thing he wanted to hear come out of BB's mouth.

"Ok, Matt, Truth or Dare?" He smirked wickedly as Matt's face paled. Either one was a double edged sword when BB is the one asking you. Only Mello had ever been as ruthless as the crimson eyed man across from him.

"I'm fucked either way. So for your entertainment, Dare." BB's smirk intensified.

"Give me a lap dance, bitch!" Matt rolled his eyes. Why was he going easy on him? He always came up with the most embarrasing and horrible things. This was too easy. So, he shrugged, moved over to BB and swayed his hips to the music. It's not like it was the first time he'd done this.

BB watched Mello from the corner of his eye. Everyone else was cheering and whistling as Matt moved over him. He ran his hands up Matt's thighs, and Mello looked away. So he squeezed his ass, earning more calls, and Mello's blue eyes were back on them. Next to him, Naomi was also having trouble watching. Interesting. She even knew the plan, and yet she couldn't decide if it was harder to watch or not. Soon, the song ended and Matt went back to his seat.

"Ok, ok. Thanks you. I know I dance smexily." Matt was laughing. He was looking around trying to pick his victim. When his eyes landed on Matsuda, he grinned evilly. The other man gulped. The red lights on Matt's goggles making him look that much more menicing. "Matsuda, truth or dare?"

"Um.. Truth?" He thought he should play it safe, but immediately regretted it when Matt's smile grew.

"When was the _real _first time you hooked up with Sayu-chan?" Raito quickly looked at him, slamming his beer down. Sayu rolled her eyes as her boyfriend tried to inch away from her brother and his best friend.

"Oh for fucks sake!" She yelled. "It was almost 7 months ago after the Squadrin's Christmas Party!" Sayu answered for him. Raito was being calmed down by his boyfriend as the game continued.

Eventually, as planned, it got back too BB with L asking him, and him picking truth. "Do you secretly hope for something more with someone in this room?"

"Yes." BB stated simply with a smile on his face. Mello's anger boiled. So he _did_ want more with Matt? BB watched Mello's reaction, very pleased with himself. Matt gave him a knowing smirk that only further pissed Mello off. He then turned his attention to the silent woman next to him, asking truth or dare, she picked truth.

"Hmm.. What is the most awkward moment you had with Mello?" He feigned curiousity, already knowing what she was going to say. She pretended to think for a minute and then her face lit up and she smiled at Mello who was franticly shaking his head.

"The morning after we had sex." She stated. Matt spit out his beer and Mello slammed his head on the table with a small laugh. "It was a mistake. We were both kinda drinking our sorrows away after Ray died. And it just kinda happened. The next morning was sooo bad." She laughed.

"You got that right. Probably the most awkward moment of my _life_ let alone with you." Mello lifted his head and took a shot, noticing how Matt was trying to compose himself.

"Why is that?" Sayu played her part unknowingly with the innocent question.

"I'm gay." He shrugged. Matt choked as he had been making another attempt to take a swig of his beer. Mello looked at him with a weird expression. "You ok?"

"You give me hell cause I don't openly tell you I'm bi and you never once told me you were gay?" Matt accused. Mello shrugged.

"Not like I tried to hide it. Come on. I'm the one who talked you into practicing kissing when we were kids. I wear skin tight leather. I only fucked guys."

"It all makes so much sence now." Matt slumped back in his chair. "Though I didn't know about the guys you were sleeping with." BB noted a hint of hurt in the way he said it.

"Whoa, wait. I wana hear more about this whole thing where he convinced you to practice kissing with him when you were little." BB inerupted. Matt just stared at him for a moment, trying to decide what the hell he was up to with all of this. BB just stared back.

"I'm going to dance." He decided to not answer and went to the livingroom, turning up the music. BB's eyes shifter to Mello who was sipping his beer, watching Matt head to the livingroom and begin to dance as the two girls joined him. Mello noticed everyone looking at him. He slowly lowered his beer to the tabel.

"What?" He asked genuinly confused. BB rolled his eyes.

"We're waiting to hear the story about you convincing Matt to practice kissing of course." Raito chimed in. Mello shook his head. "Oh come on. That's what this is all about. Drinking with friends, reliving embarrassing moments, telling secrets and stories." Mello looked at Raito, narrowing his eyes defensively.

"What the fuck do you want me to say? We were like 10 and this Linda chick kept trying to get Matt and myself to kiss her. At that age, most boys think girls have cooties. I, however, had begun to realize that I was more interested in kissing guys, not girls. So Matt was unfortunate to be on the receiving end of yet another experiment of mine. I really just wanted to figure out if I was really into guys. Sure, practice was a plus, but I didn't want to tell him my original reason. When I asked him to try it with me, he got this confused look until I explained it. He shrugged, and I kissed him, and found out that I was in fact, gay." Mello shrugged his own shoulders.

"So you _liked_ the kiss you shared with Matt then?" BB smirked. Mello just stared at him, a challenge rising in his eyes. It only caused BB to laugh, so Mello just got up and headed to the livingroom as well. Matt was fiddling with some sort of light in the corner. Matsuda had joined Sayu, so Mello began to dance with Naomi. Matt quickly walked around the apartment, turning out every light, one by one before returning to the strobe light he had been setting up, and turning it on. The livingroom and diningroom were set in a flickering glow and Matt smilled as he placed a film in front of it, continuing to switch them out until he could decide on a color.

"Purple? Really Matt?" BB was yelling. Matt shrugged.

"I'm just feeling it at the moment, B." He laughed and looked out at the dancers. Eventually his eyes landed on Mello. He was whispering into Naomi's ear, and she in return threw her head back and laughed. Matt's stomach twisted at the sight, only further knotting when Mello looked up, catching his eye and smiling. He smiled back, truely happy that his friend had returned.

"Could you want to fuck him any more than you already do?" BB breathed into his ear. Matt glared and lightly punched his arm, ripping a laugh from the man he so often shared a bed with. "I get it, man. You still can't admit that you're in love with him." This earned a roll of the eyes.

"Look, I can admit that I have a hot best friend. I can appreciate his ass in tight leather. But that doesn't me that I want to pound him into the mattress, nor does it mean that I'm in love with him. Did you forget that I'll be in _your_ bed tonight?" Matt turned on him, pressing their bodies together. BB groaned in appreciation, and his eyes fluttered to Mello and Naomi who both quickly looked away. He could only smirk.

"We'll see, won't we?" He then left a confused Matt. Had he just turned him down? Matt slowly backed away and walked to his room and closed the door to lean on it for a moment. He then continued into the joining bathroom, leaving the second door open. Turning on the sink, he pulled his goggles around his neck, and slashed cold water in his face, trying to clear some of the fog the alcohol had induced on his mind.


	7. Revelations

A/N: I'd like to start by saying that when I saw my latest reviews, it was kinda cereal that one of my favorite authors on here is reading mine. lol.

Ok, no I do not have MicrosoftWord or anything... I am stuck with WordPad which no matter how many times I look around, there is no spell check. Now the mentioned LibreOffice that I was told was offered through the site… I apologize that I haven't found it but I will keep looking. Unfortunately I am new here and I haven't figured out how to navigate my way through the site quite yet. For this chapter one of my friends in my cosplay group (our Naomi actually) proofread.. Hopefully it's better. 3

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters of Death Note... Sadly…

Warnings: Language. Alcohol use.

**Chapter 7: Revelations**

Matt returned to the living room with a freshly open beer in hand and his eyes were immediately on Mello. He was dancing alone. He didn't have any time to wonder why that was, because at that moment, Mello turned to give him the greatest view ever. His back was to Matt and he was moving his hips in a hypnotic manner. He bit his lip as he watched Mello run his hands down his body, then back up and through his hair. Oh how he longed to hold onto those silky strands in a moment of passion. He could just see the blonde's hair move has he bobbed his head and- Wait. What the _fuck!_ Matt's eyes widened as he realized where his thoughts were going. He was going to kill BB for putting such ideas in his head! Man, he really did need to go stay at BB's tonight before he continued lusting after his best friend.

Speaking of BB, he wondered where he was and his eyes scanned the rest of the area. He noticed that Matsuda and Sayu were now gone. He frowned. Raito was staying? What about Naomi? He then saw Naomi standing in a corner with BB leaning on his left arm against the wall, effectively captivating her, but making sure she wouldn't feel trapped. Bastard. So much for getting laid tonight. Maybe so much for getting laid ever. It those two hit it off he'd actually have to get out and try to meet someone. Damn it to hell. But as he watched Naomi smile at BB and run her hand up his chest, he couldn't help but be happy for his now _ex _-lover.

"Do I need to castrate him?" A familiarly deep voice spoke from behind him. Matt was acutely aware of how close Mello currently was. He remembered the way Mello had touched him on the ride home and opted to pull out a cigarette and hope to diminish the impure thoughts.

"Naw, he's a good guy." He finally spoke, noting Mello's protectiveness, but no jealousy. "I figured that's who he was after. Considering that you and Naomi are the only differences in the past few months." They stood in silence and Matt noticed Raito and L dancing. Er… kinda. L was currently unbuttoning Raito's shirt and was trying to touch and lick every bit of skin he could get to. Matt longed to have someone doing that to him at the moment. He sighed deeply. Mello noticed and shook his head.

"Disgusting display of affection." He laughed Matt joining in. "You wanna get a drink and talk? We haven't had much time to really do that." Matt was about to say he had a drink, but when he lifted it, he realized in his desperation to stop thinking it was almost gone. He frowned and turned back to Mello with a shrug.

"Sure. I guess this one didn't last long." Mello smirked at his drunken best friend and gestured for him to follow him. He pulled out a chair for Matt to sit down, which he almost missed. "Don't move the chair asshole!" Mello laughed.

"I didn't move it. I'm innocent this time."

"Suuuure..." Matt drawled unbelieving. Mello _innocent?_ Right. He hadn't had _that _much to drink.. Had he? He was trying to count it all when a shot glass was placed in front of him. He looked down and then at the blonde who had his chair turned to they were facing holding up his own shot glass. Matt reached down and raised his to Mello's before they both threw their heads back and slammed the now empty glasses to the table. "Rum? Are you _trying_ to get me fucked up?"

"Maybe. You're more honest that way." Mello was smirking again. Fuck. All Matt could do was think indecent thoughts about that devilish smirk. This was a bad idea. Maybe he had drank too much.. At least to have a conversation with his best friend who insisted on wearing skin tight leather pants and shed his vest. He forced his eyes away from the bare chest to find Mello's eyes staring at him with a hesitant look on his face. Last time he got that look was... Wait… NO!

"You're leaving again aren't you?" Matt was suddenly beyond pissed off. Mello averted his eyes and busied himself with pouring more shots. He offered one to Matt who slapped it out of his hand causing it to fall to the floor with a crash. Mello stared blankly into Matt's infuriated gaze. His eyes. Those soul piercing blue eyes betrayed his mask of indifference. He could never hide his emotions from Matt. He could read him just as well as Mello read Matt. Anger at the slap of hands. Annoyance at Matt's own anger. Regret. Uncertainty. The first two, Matt expected to see. The second two he couldn't explain.

"Is everything ok?" BB had come to inspect the noise of glass breaking he and Naomi had heard. Matt stood and grabbed the bottle of rum, suddenly the idea of getting totally wasted wasn't so bad. He turned to the couple.

"Everything's fucking perfect. Mello was just reassuring me on how reliable he is." With that he walked away to the living room. BB and Naomi turned to see the stoic looking Mello who was pulling the bottle of tequila to him. BB grabbed Matt's vacated chair and sat down glaring at the seemingly uncaring blonde.

"What the fuck do you want?" Mello snapped.

"I take it you're leaving then?" He asked bitterly. Mello shrugged.

"Was thinking about it. Naomi wants to stay but there's nothing here for me. Just gotta finish up this case." He took a swig from his bottle before returning the icy glare.

"Nothing here for you? Are you fucking insane? What about your friends? A good job? _Matt?_" He was whispering harshly to make sure the mentioned gamer didn't hear this particular conversation.

"Matt's better off without me. I get people killed" He barely registered Naomi's gasp and continued before she could interrupt. "Matt has his own place with a _reliable_ roommate. He has a good job. Friends who are there for him. He doesn't need me." His voice choked on the last sentence. Hell. BB's anger only magnified. He wanted to smack some sense into the idiot.

"Just for arguments sake, we'll say you're right. Matt may be safer with you gone. But isn't that _his_ choice? And have you ever thought that maybe Matt feels bad that L sticks around? You don't think he's noticed how L turned down Raito's offer to move in with him for Matt's sake? Do you not see how much he missed _you_? You didn't see how he was these past few years. He was like this robot just living life. I mean I didn't really realize it until you walked back in. Matt was miserable compared to how happy he's been with you here. He does need you. He _wants_ you, Mello. You're just too stubborn or stupid to see that." BB stood and walked towards the door shouting a good-bye to a highly intoxicated and oblivious redhead. Naomi studied Mello for a moment as he processed BB's angry words. She knelt in front of him and placed her right hand on his scared face.

"Beyond is right you know. Mello, open up your eyes. I've never seen you as happy as I have these past few months either. When we were in California, all you talked about or thought about was Matt and your promise to him. You need him just as much as he needs you. Think this through properly before you make any rash decisions." She kissed his other cheek before standing and following BB who had been waiting at the door.


	8. Runaway

A/N: Ok, I am SO SORRY it has taken so long to update. June is without a doubt the BUSIEST month in my life, and I'm actually just no approaching the busiest week of it. So I'm getting this up while I can. 2 of m best friends, my mom, my grandma all had birthdays. A baby shower. Another friend has a birthday. Plus extra stuff I've had to deal with. Please take pity and forgive me. lol.

Disclaimer: I only own the computer used to type up this story.

Warnings: Alcohol use. Language. Sexual situations.

**Chapter 8: Runaway**

_**How can it be boy?**_

_**You're still a runaway**_

_**You chase the dreams from heaven above, baby**_

_**Where in this world will you find a place to stay?**_

_**Runaway from love**_

Mello sat n his chair, eyes on the spot Naomi had been kneeling, unseeing. His mind was a whirlwind of emotions. They didn't know what they were talking about. He was doing this for Matt's own good. He didn't need to get mixed up in the shit Mello got himself into. He was a disaster waiting to happen. Matt deserved better than that in a friend. He was startled when a hand was placed on his shoulder. When he looked up he assumed BB had returned to lecture him some more, but instead found the coal eyes of L. He was wearing his jeans low on his hips giving Mello all the information needed to know of where he had disappeared to with Raito. Like he needed any help with _that_.

"Mello, may I have a word?" L gestured to the chair across from him. He knew it would be about Matt. The last thing he needed was to hear someone else tell him about how he was a stubbornly, stupid, selfish bastard. But how could he deny his mentor? So, he nodded his head, unwilling to speak yet. L sighed as he crouched onto the chair, his hand reached over and held Mello's chin for a moment before dropping. They stared at each other a moment, neither saying a word. The intense look from the elder detective forced Mello to look away. Her cursed. L was the only one who could force him to look away with only a stare. _'and Matt..'_ his mind reminded him. He heard L sigh and looked back up. "Do you not see him, Mello?" Came L's words. Mello turned his gaze to follow L's, landing on the fiery redhead, dancing with a passion Mello had never physically seen in him to an upbeat techno song.

"What about him L? Are you going to tell me that I'm wrong as well? That Matt isn't better off without me? He's changed. He has a life here. A good one. Who am I to disturb that?" Mello was entirely unprepared for the emotion in L's eyes. Anger. Disappointment.

"Who are _you_? You are Mihael Keehl. Mello. M. Whatever the hell you want me to call you. Rank number 2 of your time in Whammy's. One of my successor's if you so chose to accept. If you leave, you are only proving why Near is number 1, and _not _you. Near doesn't lack the common sense you are showing you do. The obvious. You have such a brilliant mind, and yet you're so brilliant, it becomes a weakness where Matt is concerned. You refuse to see past what you're eyes show you. Those years apart have made it hard for you to read him. Yes, he has changed. And yes, he has a good job and life here. But do you think he's _happy_ like this? Without you? Have you ever asked him exactly _what _and _how_ he does what he does for a living? It's not a pretty story Mello. You have been here for a short time. You don't know how anyone but I came to be a detective. You know little of Raito or Beyond. And you know even less about Matt now. You refuse to see the pain he has gone through. The pain he _is going _through. You can't see the scars he bares from losing you. I am not disagreeing with you Mello. Matt does deserve the better." Mello stared wide eyed at L. His mentor. Saying everything he never wanted to hear. The last sentence though, it burned. Badly. it was like a knife twisted in his gut and then wrenched out his heart. He felt a sting behind his eyes, but when he tried to look away, L caught his chin once again. "Do not misunderstand me, Mello. It is not that he deserves better _than_ you. It is that he deserves better _from_ you. Talk to him. Get to know him all over again before you make such hasty decisions. For all of our sakes." And he was gone.

Mello felt stupid. Of course he had no idea what events led to Matt doing what he does. He knew Matt worked under L, but doing what exactly? He assumed computers had something to do with it. He knew from the times he was at the office that Matt wasn't a detective as he was. He didn't go out. His gaze returned to Matt who was still dancing in the living room. With everyone else away, he was free to appraise his best friend as he pleased. He didn't _look_ any different. Although, seeing the fluid and graceful moves he pulled while dancing was new to him. He had never known Matt to even like dancing let alone look like a god doing it. Matt was exotic. He would be stupid and blind to not be able to admit how attractive he was. He was lazy and laid back. Unless it was something he cared about. Then Matt had a temper that could rival Mello's. Passionate. Mello could just imagine how wild Matt got behind closed doors with a lover. But he would not imagine it. No. He refused to let the influence of his friends and the alcohol in his system effect his relationship with Matt. No, he did not find the smooth dancing luring. No he did not want to touch him in ways that he should never associate with him.

_'Liar!' _His subconscious was screaming at him. He narrowed his eyes. He could prove it.

Matt was so angry he was seeing red. He wasn't sure how long he danced his frustration out. He held the remote to the stereo in his hand. Any time a slower song come on, he his the skip button. He couldn't slow down. How could he make Mello stay?

'You can't.' was the only thought he had. He doesn't _want _to be here with you. Why did that hurt so much? He knew it was bound to happen. Mello was a drifter. A wanderer. Always looking for a home, never realizing he had one. He wanted more than what Matt could give him. He had always been that way. Matt was never enough. He was so lost in his thoughts that when a pair of hands landed on his hips from behind, he almost dropped his near empty bottle of rum and the remote. He knew it was Mello. Not only did he recognize the presence, but it was the only logical choice. He had seen BB leave with Naomi. He looked pissed, she looked concerned. He knew L was in holed up in his room with Raito. That left Mello. He stiffened as the hands circled his waist and pulled his back to the owners chest.

"Dance with me. You never used to before." He heard Mello whisper in his ear. He nodded, refusing to say anything to the blonde. When he felt the arms relax, he turned to face his dance partner. He wound his own arms around Mello's neck, and the hands returned to his hips. A new song began and Matt pulled his left arm from Mello, finishing the rum in a swig and tossing the empty bottle into a chair. Mello began to move to the beat, and Matt joined him, getting lost in the music. Once song turned into two. Two to three. And then both lost count. Mellos hands roamed up and down Matt's spin and sides. Matt kept his right arm slung over Mello's shoulder, remote at the ready subconscious. His left hand moved over Mellos bare shoulder and up his neck to trail back down over his chest. Feet shuffled. Bodies grew closer. Mello's hands finally ran down passed the dip in Matt's lower back, and lower to the curve of his jean covered ass. He pulled Matt's body against his more firmly, causing Matt to groan in a mix of surprise and approval. The move cause Matt to drop the remote and use both hands to tangle in Mello's hair. Their foreheads touched, eyes closed, just feeling. Mello moved his head to the curve of Matts neck, and nipped the exposed collarbone. Matt's hands tightened in the golden locks. Mello continues to move his lips. Just ghosting over the skin everywhere. Across the collarbone to the hallow of the neck, and up towards the ear. Moving back and forth, not missing smallest spot. When he reached the ear, he nipped again at the lobe before continuing across Matt's jawline. Finally.. _Finally_ Mello's lips were ghosting Matt's. Breath's mingled harshly. They were pulling each other as tightly as they could. Mello turned his head letting his nose slide across Matt's. His right hand had moved up Matt's body and was grasping onto his head. Palm on his jawbone, fingers sliding into the flames of his hair.

-BAM- The slamming of a door had Mello pulling away quickly, ready to grab his always present gun that was currently shoved in his pants. Raito was strolling through the living room, white shirt unbuttoned, tie around his bare neck, without a word to the other two. He strutted straight out the front door with another -BAM-


	9. What Do I Have To Do?

A/N: Ok, so AFTER I posted Chapter 8, I saw I had another review, and it made me really happy that another person liked this story enough to favorite it. Plus, I've been so horrible with how busy I've been, that I decided to post a second chapter before I go pass out tonight. Hope you enjoy. 3

Disclaimer: I (regretfully) do not own the characters of Death Note. **sigh**

Warnings: Language. Angst themes.

**Chapter 9: What Do I Have To Do?**

_**You make it hard to breathe**_

_**It's as if I'm suffocating**_

_**And when you're next to me**_

_**I can feel your heartbeat through my skin**_

_**It makes me sad to think**_

_**This could all be for nothing**_

_**I wish there was a way**_

_**A way for you to see inside me**_

_**I've never felt this way**_

_**About anyone or anything.. tell me**_

Matt watched as Mello turned back to him, the daze broken. Blue eyes grew wide with realization of what he had almost. Matt bit his lip. Ah hell. How could he have been so blind? He felt more electricity in the _almost_ kiss with Mello than he had with anything else he had done with anyone else. He opened his mouth to speak, but it snapped shut again with no idea what to say. Mello had always been an action guy, so maybe Matt could borrow that page from his book. He reached his hand up to cup Mello's cheek, but recoiling it as Mello back away, fear in his eyes. _'Fuck. My. Life.'_

"Mello.." He tried to move towards the skittish blonde, but stopped when he took another step back, shaking his head. Angrily, Matt grabbed the stereo remote from the ground and turned of the music. "Ok, what the hell Mello? It's always hot and cold with you. What do you want?" He flung the remote across the room, feeling satisfied when it smacked against a wall.

"I don't know. It doesn't matter anyways. I need to leave." He made to move when he heard a frustrated growl come from next to him. Before he could do anything, he was falling into a sitting position on the couch, and rare sight in front of him. Matt had his hands on his hips, knuckles white from his anger. Defensive, yet ready to lash out. His black and white striped shirt was pulled to the side, revealing the collar bone Mello had been fixated on. His goggles we pulled down around his neck, and Mello almost didn't look any further up, until he heard a snarl. Matt's teeth we grounding together and then his eyes. His green eyes were full of pure rage. Mello looked away.

"It doesn't matter?" Matt growled at him. "What just happened doesn't matter? I _know_ you wanted it just as much as I did Mello. So tell me _I _don't matter." Mello's icy blue eyes snapped to enraged green.

"Of course you fucking matter, Matt! That's why what I want doesn't matter! I have to do what is best for you. I have to protect you from me. Can't you see that? Can't anyone? I'm no good. You deserve better." He whispered the last sentence, the fight dying on his lips. Matt walked over and flicked the light on. He pushed the coffee table back in front of the couch and sat down directly across from Mello, his right knee between Mello's. He hesitated for a second before he slowly pulled up his sleeve on his left arm, showing half of his forearm. He thrust his upturned wrist under Mello's nose.

"If anything, Mello, I need protecting from myself, not you. This is what I did when you left me. And this isn't even the worst of it. You think my life is so 'great', but you don't even know how I got here or the the things I did and still do." Mello finally looked down and saw the white scars across Matt's forearm. He grabbing his wrist, pulling it to him, pushing the sleeve up more. When it refused to move up further, and he could still see the scars continue, he pulled a knife from his boot and sliced the fabric, ripping it more as he went. Matt gasped.

"You could've just asked me to take it off you twat!" Mell ignored him and repeated his actions with the other sleeve, finding more scars on the other arm. He ran his fingers over them before looking up.

"You still do this?" His words were tense. Matt shook his head and it only made his relax a little, the whole of Matt's words echoing in his head. "What's worse than hurting yourself, Matty?" For the first time in a long time, Mello got a real look at Matt's eyes. They were full of pain. He had black bags under them that suggested more than a few nights without sleep. Uncertainty. Matt hesitated before releasing a heavy sigh.

"After you left, L came by to make sure I'd feed myself and not die lying in your room. When I finally came out, he introduced me to his brother, Beyond. B was a reformed criminal. Freshly so. He technically worked for the police, but it was strict on him. He used to do white collar crimes. He was a scam artist. Bank robber. Jewel thief. Name it. L had finally caught him and convinced him to work for him. B used to tell me stories about heists he pulled. Tried to cheer me up and whatnot. What he didn't know was I was using the information he told me. I didn't want to do anything for work. I barely made time to stay at the top of my classes. If they hadn't been so _easy_, I would've quit. I wanted easy money too. In this time, they took me to Liquid. B introduced me to E. I still do it. Though he taught me how to be responsible with it. Never more than once in a 6-12 month time frame. Always sip at water frequently. Never drive. And we always had eachother's back for unwanted attention. Eventually the 'get your hands off my boyfriend' line we used crossed into the relationship we had up until now. Neither of us liked meeting random people. It became an unspoken agreement. Not once have I been jealous of one of his boyfriends or girlfriends, and vice versa. It was purely physical assistance between friends. One day L came home and brought B. I was playing games, unsurprisingly. They were talking about work and one word finally caught my attention. Link. This hacker who had taken over in the last year and got away with _millions_. You see, L never asked where I got the money to pay for my stuff. I'm sure he knew.. But he never said a word. B had speculated. And finally he confronted me one day when L was out with Raito. When I finally confirmed that, yes, I was Link, he blew up on me. Said I betrayed his trust with using the information he told me. Said I was stupid for throwing my life away. That I could do serious jail time for him. That was the same day that B caught me with a razor in my hand. I had locked myself in the bathroom to cut as usual. I guess I was taking too long cause he ended up barging in. I would've actually died that time. I just kept picturing your face and how disappointed you'd be in me for the path I had taken. The path of a criminal. I woke up a few days later in the hospital. B was there, ready to lecture me more. That's when I truly broke. I told him everything. You. Why I did what I did. How I felt. Everything. He just sat and listened. When it was over, he told me he had a way for me to fix everything. He said I could help him. Help L. Work for them. That my skills had surpassed all known hackers on both sides. He told me, 'Do something to make this Mello guy proud.' That's what got me. So, I agreed. I've been helping them since. I just wanted you to be proud of me when you returned. But then you didn't. Every once in a while, I still cut myself. Nothing deep. Just to edge the pain away. Then you came back. I haven't touched the box since." Matt finally looked up at Mello, afraid of what he'd find. He hadn't dared watch the reactions, afraid to lose his nerve mid story. What he saw shocked him. Mello was crying. Not in the way most people cry, no, this was _Mello_ after all. But Matt caught the lone tear streak down his cheek, and Mello was too proud to acknowledge it happened.

"Don't you see, Matty? I've hurt you enough. I don't want to hurt you anymore. That's why I have to leave now. To save you." He whispered. Matt's eyes went wide with fear and his words became frantic as his own tears began to fall.

"NO! Don't you see? I _need_ you, Mel! Please, don't leave me again." He landed on his knees, grasping Mello's hands. Mello sighed and pulled his hands away, running one through Matt's hair. Leaning down, he kissed Matt's cheek.

"I promise Matty, I won't cause _more_ pain." He pulled away and stood, walking to the door. He slipped his leather vest on, fallowed by his jacked. Turning back to look at the still kneeling red head. "I won't come back this time." And he was gone.


	10. Need You Now

A/N: Ok, one more. lol

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Warnings: Drug use. Alcohol use. Angst. Language. Mentions of sexual situations.

**Chapter 10: Need You Now**

_**Picture perfect memories**_

_**Scattered all across the floor**_

_**Reaching for the phone cause **_

_**I can't fight it anymore**_

_**And I wonder if I**_

_**Ever cross your mind**_

_**For me it happens all the time**_

He couldn't help it. He was worried. Matt hadn't been to the office in a week. After he left, Mello had gone and gotten himself a motel to stay at until he wrapped up this last case and head back to the states, or anywhere else he felt like. It was taking a while to tie up lose ends as the guy had given them the slip and made things a bit more complicated. He was told Matt was working from home when absolutely needed. He was told a lot of things. Did he believe them? Not a word. He would catch himself hovering over Matt's name in his contacts before he'd close his phone and get back to work. It was one of those moments. He was in the break room attempting to enjoy his coffee and chocolate. Traitors. Even those didn't calm him down anymore. He had just stood up to make his way back to L when his coffee was smacked from his hand, his shirt grabbed, and his body shoved against the wall. Hard.

"YOU! HOW DARE YOU!" Mello looked up into the infuriated crimson eyes of none other than Beyond Birthday.

_**Another shot of whiskey**_

_**Can't stop looking at the door**_

_**Wishing you'd come sweeping**_

_**In the way you did before**_

_**And I wonder if I**_

_**Ever cross your mind**_

_**For me it happens all the time**_

Matt lay in his bed, cuddled to a pillow. Mello's pillow. Or at least, the one he had been using. B had just left after making sure he ate something and discretely, or so he thought, checked Matt's arms for new cuts. He had been enraged to find a few fresh ones. He begged Matt to stop, but he could do nothing but stare almost lifelessly back at his friend. Eventually he let Matt go back to his room. He needed to get back to work. Matt could care less that they were close to catching this guy. Once they did, Mello would be gone. Far and for good. He didn't want that. No matter how much he hurt. If Mello left for real, he was sure he wouldn't survive. He sat up against the head board and reached for the bottle of whiskey and his pack of cigarettes. Nothing could numb the feeling anymore. Not like they used to. Today he had taken a new habit. One that would make him numb. Resting the open bottle between his legs, and the cigarette in his lips, he reached over and grabbed the needle from his nightstand. He rolled up his sleeve and tied of his arm with a rubber band tightly, smacking at his arm a few times waiting for the veins to raise. Once he could clearly make out a blue vein, she slid the needle in, and flooded his veins with the drug, in turn filling his body with the numbness he so craved. He only put his cigarette in the ash tray to burn out when holding it became a chore. He placed the whiskey down after a long swig, and scooted back down with his pillow once more. Why couldn't Mello just come home? Why couldn't he see how much he needed him?

_'Because you're worthless' _the voice in his head. A lone tear fell from his eye as he slipped into unconsciousness once more.

"What the hell, Beyond?" Mello gestured to his ruined work shirt. Beyond just snarled at him.

"I just saw him, Mello. I just came from his place. I could fucking kill you for doing this to him, _again!_ And it's worse this time around! He doesn't want to move. He just holds onto a pillow you used and stares into space. It's like he's dead inside." Beyond let go of Mello who was glaring back at him with just as much heat in his eyes.

"I left so I couldn't hurt him anymore. And he'll be better in time. How is that worse when he could be hurting himself again?" He challenged. Beyond lost all anger to his sadness and Mello stopped, afraid for what he'd hear next.

"He has 6 fresh cuts on the arm I was able to see. One of them was still bleeding." Mello looked away.

"So stop him like you did before. You're a better friend than I am. Than I ever will be."

"He doesn't want me you selfish asshole! For some God forsaken reason, he wants you!" Beyond was growling in anger again. Mello's heart clenched at the words.

"He doesn't want me. He may think he does, but he'd get tired of me. I'm no good. He deserves better." Mello had turned his back on Beyond. He didn't want him to see how weak he was.

"Ok, listen here, Princess! Since it's so obvious that you're acting out of your own selfish fears, I'm going to tell you something you need to hear, and it isn't pretty. Matt is a genuine guy. He is lazy and doesn't like to do much unless it really matters to him. But when it does matter to him, he fights like his life depends on it. He's loyal and faithful. He could go out and have the pick of the lot, and for some reason, he chose _you_, Mello. You are the only person I've seen him let hurt him. And not only once! You take advantage of him, and yet, he still wants you. How do you not see how good you have it? Get your head out of your ass and save him for once in return. Be the man he sees in you. Be better for him." Beyond's chest was heaving up and down. He adjusted his shoulders to loosen to pull his gun holster had on his while shirt. Mello slowly turned to him, and amused expression.

"Did you just call me Princess?" Beyond rolled his eyes.

"Focus, Mello!"

"Matt has this idea that I'm this great guy, and I'm _not!_ I can't be someone I'm not."

"Do you want him?"

"Huh?" That had taken Mello by surprise. Crimson eyes deepened.

"Do you _want_ him? Do you want to hold him? To touch him? To protect him? Do you _love_ him, Mello?"

"Of course I care about him." Beyond knew he was avoiding the questions in his uncertainty. And evil smirk plastered on his face. He stepped forward, backing Mello against the wall. He leaned in to speak lowly into his ear.

"I can see it Mello. You want to know so badly. You want to know what it's like to have your naked flesh against his. You want to know if you see fireworks when he kisses you. You want to map out his body with your hands, eyes, and mouth. Memorize it while he memorizes you. To know every little noise he makes when you do different things to him. You want to know how it feels o be inside him and him in you. You want the explosion of a climax you'd get with no one else." He pulled away slightly to look into Mello's hooded eyes. His smirk grew. "_I_ know all of these, Mello." Blue eyes widened and rage flared. Beyond was thrown away from him followed by a burning in his jaw. He looked back at the enraged Mello and smirked again. This only pissed him off further, but before he could attack, Beyond's words cut through the haze.

"Are you jealous? I haven't know the feeling of loving him or him loving me. His heart has always been yours. So now that you know your reaction, I will ask again. Do you _love _him?" A million thoughts ran through Mello's mind. Everything was blurry. But one image stuck in his mind and made his heart beat faster. Matt. His face was smiling as his laughter played in the air. Mello had sworn he would do anything to keep that smile and laughter in place, deciding he liked no image or sound more. He doubted he ever would.

"Yes." He whispered and blue met crimson once again. Beyond's smirk morphed into a light smile.

"Then go to him." He whispered in reply. Mello stood for a moment before nodding and racing from the building. Beyond stood there a moment longer before a light sound of clapping reached him.

"It's about time someone could reach him in the mind of his." Near spoke as he played with his little toy robot. Naomi was approaching him, winding her arms around his neck.

"Does this mean you'll move in with me now?" Raito was asking L, who nodded.

"You did good, Beyond." Naomi was beaming at him and he couldn't help but smile as he pulled her in for a kiss. "Though in the process of making Mello jealous, I think you got me as well. I may need a lot of reassurance that you don't want anyone but me when we get home tonight." A wicked gleam was in her eye and Beyond couldn't help buy groan.

"That can be arranged" He said before capturing her lips once again.


	11. Whispers In The Dark

A/N: Ok.. So I felt kinda bad leaving you hanging with Mello running with his realization that he loved Matt and you not getting to see Matt's reaction. This is NOT the last chapter. There's at least 3-4 chapters left. Depends on reviews I receive. Btw, I didn't intend to make people thing everyone "hated" Mello. In fact, the reason why everyone is so hard on him is because the love him AND Matt so much. They want to see them happy together, and unfortunately Mello being Mello, he needs it to be pounded into his head. In fact Naomi and Mello are like best friends (not like Matt and Mello) in a way that Matt and BB are. Minus the sex. =P Also, as much as BB wants to see them happy, he holds a tiny grudge towards out sexy blonde bombshell for continually hurting Matt. He's just helping in his own "Beyond Birthday" way.

Did you enjoy getting to see a bit of Near in the last chapter? And L's own speech getting involved? Gotta love the Panda. =)

Disclaimer: I own nothing. =( **sigh** Thanks for the constant reminder!

Warnings: Mentions of drug and physical abuse. Nudity. Language.

**Chapter 11: Whispers In The Dark**

_**You feel so lonely and ragged**_

_**You lay here broken and naked**_

_**My love is**_

_**Just waiting**_

_**To clothe you in crimson roses**_

_**I will be the one that's gonna find you**_

_**I will be the one that's gonna guide you**_

_**My love is**_

_**A burning, consuming fire**_

He felt so stupid. So blind. Naive. Ignorant. Immature. Ungrateful. Pathetic. All because he had been in denial. Of _course_ he loved Matt! How could he have acted so childish to everyone trying to help him? How could he have been so stubborn to not accept what Matt had tried to give him the other night? He may not be the best person, but Matt wanted him. How stupid do you have to be to turn that down?

When he reached the apartment building he ran inside and raced up the stairs, not patient enough to wait for the elevator. But once he got to the door, he froze, his hand extended to the door knob. Was he supposed to knock or just walk in? It wasn't his home after all. Fuck. That. It was his home as long as Matt was there. With that in mind, he reached out, turned the knob, and push his way in. He passed the neglected kitchen and video games in the living room. He moved down the hall and opened Matt's bedroom door. It was empty. Beyond had told him that Matt was doing nothing but lay on his bed holding a pillow. _His_ pillow. Was he wrong? Had Matt already began to move on? Was he too late? He looked around and saw Matt half empty whiskey bottle and carton of cigarettes. The ashtray had a cigarette you could tell had burnt out from neglect. That wasn't like Matt. He then noticed something that made his blood run cold and his heart almost stopped. A syringe. He picked it up and wanted to cry out. It was used. Tossing it onto the nightstand, his search renewed. He walked to the adjoining bathroom and walked inside.

The bathroom was bathed in steam. It was so thick, Mello could barely see. The water was still running and he only hesitated a second before he yanked the curtain back. Matt. He was sitting in the ball in the tub. Mello's heart clenched when agonizing green eyes lifted to his.

"Mello?" His voice was almost a whisper and he smiled. "I must be dead finally. You're here." That was it. Those words broke Mello. Gone were his pride and fears of rejection. How dare he? How could he have broken such a man? His best friend. Mello cried. A sob broke through his throat and tears fell down his cheeks in rivers. He climbed into the tub and pulled Matt to him, needing to hold him. "Mello? What's wrong? Why are you crying? Tell me and I'll make it all better for you. Why are you dressed so weird? I always imagine you in leather. I like the leather." Matt's weak smile had a wicked gleam in it.

Mello broke down even more. Here they are. Mello hoping Matt'll forgive him. Mello being the wrong doer. Mello was the one who needed to fix everything for Matt. And yet, Matt was asking what he could do to make it better for Mello.

"You're not dead Matty. I'm here. For real. I'm home." He buried his face into Matt's neck, uncaring of the water pounding down on them. Matt hummed.

"I love it when you say suck sweet things, Mels." Mello pulled away and looked at Matt. Was he delirious? He really thought Mello was in his mind. He looked closely in those green eyes and noticed the glazed over look. He was high. Very high. All he could do was lift them out of the tub and lay them down on the bed. He'd have to wait it out.

"Sleep, Matty. We'll talk after a nap." Matt snuggled into him more deeply and soon drifted off.

Matt awoke feeling more tired than he remembered. His body was stiff. He was naked. Wait, hadn't he been in the shower? He tried to sit up, but his arms burned with the effort. He looked down and saw that they were neatly bandaged from his recent cuts before his shower. He felt the pain. The heartbreak. He needed a cigarette. Or better yet, he needed his mistress to make him numb. He felt eyes on him and knew he couldn't be so lucky.

"B, just go away. Leave me to rot." He picked at one of his bandages, not wanting to see his friends disappointment in him yet again.

"You know, if you keep mistaking me for him, I'm going to start to get jealous." Matt froze. Was he high and imagining that voice? "No. You're not imagining me, Matty. I'm really here." Matt spun around at neck breaking speed. He grabbed his goggles from the bed and pulled them over his eyes. Mello chuckled.

"You're laying in bed, completely naked, after I found you seemingly trying to kill yourself in the shower, and you worry about covering you're _eyes_ of all things?" Matt's lips twitched. Then Mello turned serious. He was sitting in a chair. His arms thrown over each side, his legs spread out and apart. His hair was messy. It looked like he had gotten wet and sat there to dry. His black pants were too loose on him. His white button up shirt and black tie were all wrong too. And yet, Matt's mouth went dry. He felt a stirring in his abdomen and wanted to shove a pillow in his lap. Mello looked absolutely enticing dressed that way, and he knew it. "No, Matty. We need to talk. Or rather, you need to listen to me." He got up and crawled onto the bed. It was all so seductive in Matt's foggy mind.

"Mello.." He panted out the name as he lay there. Mello smirked, but shook his head.

"I said you need to listen to me, Matty. I don't know why you thought starting this drug would be a good idea. But it ends now. I already found your stash. _You_ are going to throw it away. Flush it. I don't care. You are also going to toss out this box with all you're cutting tools in it. You will never again harm yourself. Do you hear me?" Matt looked fearfully and uncertainly into Mello's eyes. The blonde sighed. "In return, Matt, you will get what you want. Anything and everything you want from me. Me as a whole." Matt's eyes lit up and Mello laid down, covering his body with his. Matt moaned as Mello's lips began to retrace the path it had taken the other night. When he got to his ear he nipped playfully and spoke again.

"I also refuse to allow anything to happen while you are still on drugs though. You need to clean up, Matt. And I will help you. As your best friend, I will protect you from yourself. And when you have a clear head and I don't doubt your words, you can tell me what you want." Matt made a sound of protest in his throat. Mello just chuckled before pulling his face back, lips running along his jaw teasingly. "Consider this a bribe." He whispered before his lips crashed down onto Matt's.

They were in heaven. Matt's hands were everywhere. He couldn't stay still. When Mello licked his lips, he opened the eagerly, groaning at the taste of Mello finally on his tongue. That more than anything proved to him this was real. Never could he have imagined the seductively sweet and intoxicating taste of Mello. He wanted more. Mello moved his forearms on either side of Matt's body, pushing himself up again, breaking the kiss. Matt groaned in displeasure.

"I told you Matty. First we clean you up. Let me take care of you." Matt nodded and Mello, unable to help himself, swooped down for another kiss. "I _promise_ you Matt. I will _never_ leave you again. Just get better. He had rolled off of Matt and pulled his fragile body to his own and held him. Tomorrow would be long and torturous. The weeks ahead would be long. Matt had a real fight ahead of him. He just hoped the addiction hadn't taken too deep a root in his being already. A week was such a short time. Yet all it took was one time, and a person could give themselves over to a drug so easily and completely. He would be there though. He would help Matt through it. He would be strong for them both. But tonight.. Tonight they were both content. Laying in each others arms. Tomorrow could wait.


	12. Lithium

A/N: Ok, so I'm trying real hard not to let the end be rushed.. lol. So I hope you like this chapter.. A taste of what's to come. Let me know how you like the direction. I didn't want to jump into a sex and end scene. In real life, relationships are hard and take time.

Disclaimer: Only in my dreams do I get to own such an awesome anime and amazingly smexy couple..

Warnings: Language. Alcohol use. Drug use. Sexual situations.

**Chapter 12: Lithium**

**Darling, I forgive you... After all,**

**Anything is better than to be alone.**

**And in the end I guess I had to fall.**

**Always find my place among the ashes.**

**I can't hold on to me,**

**Wonder what's wrong with me.**

**Lithium, don't want to lock me up inside.**

**Lithium, don't want to forget how it feels without...**

**Lithium, ...stay in love with you.**

**I'm gonna let it go. **

Beyond Birthday was currently sitting in the middle of his couch. His arms were up over either side and his head back. His eyes were staring unseeingly are the ceiling above. It had been four months since Mello had gone back to Matt. But that was it. Matt was recovering from the damage it had all caused. More emotionally and mentally than physically so. Mello was such a pansy in BB's mind. The fucker had finally admitted to himself that he was in love with his best friend, and had done nothing to take a step forward. He growled in frustration. Even L was putting of moving out and in with Raito until he knew Matt would be ok. Slowly his stuff was moved. He spent more time over there. But officially? He was still living with Matt. He growled in frustration and closed his eyes.

"It's not that bad you know. They're together. Being cautious and with good reason." Naomi's sweet voice bathed him as she moved onto his lap. He smiled and moved his arms around her waste. "Mello may be all big and bad on the outside. But he's scared. Scared Matt will reject his heart. That he can't forgive him for leaving." She leaned down and kissed his chin softly. He sighed.

"I know. Sometimes I just want to smack him upside the head though." He ran his hands up her back as she laid her head on his chest. This was the best part of everything. Naomi had agreed to move in with him when he asked. Although she was afraid it was too soon, she quickly agreed that it would be best for everyone. She wouldn't be Mello's excuse to _not_ be alone with Matt. Now if only they could get L to sop worrying so much and move in with Raito fully. "You're off today. Come back to bed before we meet everyone else later to go to Liquid. Or do I have to make you?"

"If anyone can make me, it's you." He smirked wickedly at her. She grinned, pulling him with her as she stood. She just hoped Mello would wake up and grab the happiness out from under his nose. That he would be able to get a fraction of the happiness she felt with the most unlikely of people.

Matt wanted to scream. He wanted to kick and punch and yell and anything else he could to to anything he could do it to. And maybe picture Mello while doing it. Four months. Four God damned months! After the mind shattering kiss, Mello had taken a step back. He held Matt at his arms length. Enough to keep Matt dangling in his grasp, but not enough to reassure him he was staying and he wanted Matt. At first he wanted Matt to get better. Which he couldn't really be upset with the blonde for that. After all, he wanted to make sure Matt's emotions and words were his own. And he had to admit, there were a few slip ups. It was just so hard to not do it at all. He had become addicted. At night, Mello would pull the redhead to him. He wouldn't speak his emotions, but he would rub his arms and back. Kiss his forehead and cheeks. Rarely did his lips find his own. And it was always a gentle brush. Almost as if he was afraid to break the fragile shell of Matt. Fuck. That.

Matt walked out of the kitchen, continuing his mini tantrum as he went, cigarette in hand. When he got to the living room, he kicked the coffee table. That made him feel a _tiny_ bit better.

"Whoa, what'd the table do to you?" BB had just walked in, Naomi right behind him. Matt glared at his friend as he took a drag from his cigarette.

"It was conveniently there." He shrugged and exhaled. Mello chose that moment to walk out in a pair of sweat pants that were low on his hips. He walked to the kitchen, grabbed a chocolate bar and stopped on his way back to his and Matt's room, chocolate bar half unwrapped, all eyes on him. He noted the way Naomi was dressed up a bit. Black shorts and red fishnet stockings under them. A black tank top with red fishnets on her arms as well. Matt was sitting on the couch, a cigarette dangling in his lips. His florescent goggles covering his eyes, also lit up red. Was the color the trend tonight?

"Right. Liquid. Tonight. I'll get dressed." He said slowly as he turned to go. He stopped outside the door of the room and turned back to the group. "By the way, Matty. I found these sweat pants in your drawer. My sweat pants. It's cute how you kept them there." He winked and disappeared as the gamers face began to match his hair.

"Why? Why the hell does he have to do that? What did I do to deserve such torment? He walks around oozing sex. Come one, you fucking saw him. Fresh out of the shower, still wet. And you _know_ there's nothing under those loose pants. He eats his fucking chocolate. And the comments! Shit like that or sexual innuendos. He's driving me insane!" Matt growled out in a harsh whisper. BB and Naomi where laughing lightly.

"So why don't _you_ make a move, Matt?" Naomi suggested as she sat on the arm of the couch.

"You think I haven't tried? I cuddle up to him at night. I try to get a reaction from my touch. I try to deepen the short kisses. Hell, I even invite him to shower with me. Nothing works. I'm not used to being cut off like this." He threw himself on his back on the couch, taking long, purposeful drags oh his cigarette.

"Well, why don't you be aggressive? It's Mello you're dealing with. Seduce him. He can't take his eyes off you when you dance. We're going to Liquid tonight. When you get back tonight, shove him against a wall." Naomi sounded so nonchalant about the whole thing. "And maybe, Matt, you could tell him how you actually feel. You know that you're madly and deeply in love with him and all?" She smirked. Matt was going to reply but his jaw snapped shut as Mello exited the room.

"Alright. We ready?" Matt's mouth and throat went dry. Damn Mello and his glorified leather! Seeing his friends tough situation, BB stepped up to the rescue of the 'unable to speak or even think' Matt. Though the orange tint to his goggles hid his eyes, he knew they on Mello's lower body and he was biting his lip. BB kicked the couch to startle the redhead.

"Yep. L said he would meet us there with Raito. Said we should all take 1 car so he can drive us home if need be and Raito can follow him." BB spoke. Mello nodded and tossed his keys down onto the table.

"No motorcycle then. Ah well, it's probably for the best since I can't exactly fit keys in these clothes." He winked at the redhead who was still oblivious on the couch. Matt made a low noise in his throat that sounded like a groan until he choked on his cigarette smoke.

"Then lets get out of here." BB led Naomi out and Mello grabbed Matt's hand, pulling him up.

"You ok?" He was rubbing Matt's back while his breathing returned to normal. Part of Matt wanted to shrink away. The touch was almost too much and he craved more. He was so going to pull his best moves tonight. Maybe he could get a pokeball to make him even better. It had been 6 months. Mello seemed to know what he was thinking cause when Matt tried to follow their friends, a tight tug stopped him. "Matt? Can you not.. Drop anymore? I really don't like you doing any of that. I want to be with _you_. Not the foggy drug induced you." Matt just nodded his understanding and Mello smiled. He pulled Matt closer and wrapped his arms around him, leaning in for a kiss. Matt was determined to use this moment to his advantage.

"What's the damn hold up?" BB stopped in his tracks. "My bad." He smiled sheepishly as the pair glared at him. Reluctantly they pulled away and pushed at BB to get going. Yes, tonight, Matt assumed he'd have to get creative.

As they walked into the club, Mello took in the bodies that were huddled together, extremely happy to know Matt wouldn't be one of the drugged. He didn't think he could handle seeing him cuddling up to any material or body he thought felt nice. It was hard enough to keep his distance. If Matt was all over him, or God forbid, all over another person, he'd lose it for sure. His eyes watched Matt and Naomi walk up to the group consisting of L, Raito, Matsuda, Sayu, Misa, and Mikami. Misa screamed Matt's name and jumped him, her legs and arms wrapping around his body as she kissed his cheek. He growled and was about to follow and pull the drugged girl off of _his_ Matt, but a hand on his arm stopped him. He looked back and saw Beyond's smirking face.

"So you _do_ give a shit then?" His eyes gleamed knowingly.

"What the fuck is that supposed to mean?" Mello's hands went to his hips and his icy glare fixed onto Beyond who just smirked wider before going serious.

"Look Mello. It's been four months since you admitted to me that you're in love with him. And you haven't said one word to _him_. Why?" Beyond pulled him to the wall where the could speak quietly. Mello sighed and let his eyes fall to Matt, the short distance away.

"I want him to be sober, Beyond. I want him to get better. I don't need anything messing with his mind. He doesn't need anything serious to focus on while he fights it." His head fell back against the wall and he heard Beyond sigh deeply. Matt had put Misa back on her feet and was showing her and Mikami a new technique he had made up with a couple LED lights, twisting them around his body, making them turn on and off as needed as if the light was jumping around. Matt was definitely good at dancing. Especially liquid rave.

"He needs you, Mello. Sure, he's had a few slip ups, but have you ever sat and thought about why? He's scared. If he lets go of the drugs and the cutting and lets himself be happy, what if you leave? Once he's better, will you stay? He doesn't know. So he holds onto the one thing that he knows will make you stay. He needs reassurance. From you. And don't for one second try to tell me Matt doesn't feel the same way about you. I was here while you weren't. I saw how he pined after you. At first, no one could say your name without tears falling. Then it went to anger. He'd break anything he could. He's on his third PlayStation 3, you know. Then he just talked about you all the time. Stories mostly. Of time you spent together at Wammy's University. And whenever your name would come up, his face would light up like a kids on Christmas. Or L at Halloween." Beyond chuckled as he spoke of the sweet toothed detective. Mello laughed as well. He saw as Matt did a few intricate moves of his hands right in Mikami's face, Misa watching from the side, sucking on a ring pop, L looking on with envy. He then saw Matt lean his face in extremely close to Mikami's, the lights between them. He was sure the goggles created an extra effect. Mello's blood was boiling at the closeness and he was ready to head over there until Matt's hands moved away, he blew a puff of smoke into Mikami's face, and the lawyer staggered backwards, being caught by Raito, with a dazed look on his face. Matt was laughing. Mello's insides clenched. "Think about it Mello. Stop keeping him at arms length. Pull him close. Let him know you love him. Let him know it's ok to let go of the numbness. And reassure him until he does." Beyond spoke in his ear and walked away, not giving Mello a chance to respond.

Matt was ready to shoot someone. He had been doing everything he could to get Mello's attention all night. But for some reason, the blonde just wasn't there. He was deep in thought. Matt wanted to shake the crap out of him and cream, "LOOK AT ME, DAMN IT!" in his face, and only barely resisted. Mello was currently sitting next to him at a table, not really noticing the conversation around him. He was on his third beer of the hour and Matt was tired of being ignored. Maybe he just needed a small boost? He was sure _someone_ here had a pokeball, a red dragon, or _something_ left. He was looking around, and nodded back at one of the dealers who was always here, always holding, and always ready to give Matt a deal. He was about to excuse himself when he felt a warm breath by his ear.

"Dance with me?" It was Mello. A shiver ran up his spine and he found himself nodding before he could think. Eager to be near him. Mello pulled him to his feet and to the dance floor. Matt's lights were forgotten in his hands as Mello pressed his body against his, arms around his waist. Matt's hands began to roam the hard body as they moved together to the music, his blood pumping in his ears. Mello's hand reached up and clicked the button on the side of his goggles until they turned green. "Much better."

Mello's lips were on his neck and jaw. He licked his collar bone and bit his ear lobe. Matt's loud gasps and moans were lost in the air and music. His fingers were tangled in the blonde hair, and he barely registered his feet moving him backwards until Mello had him pressed against a wall in a dark corner as the place filled with fog.

"Mello.." He gasped as he was lifted in the air, legs wrapping around his best friend, and erections ground together.

"I'm sorry, Matt. I just don't want to skip all the good steps. I want to take my time with you. I want us to enjoy each level of the relationship. I didn't even realize you were drowning waiting for me. So here's the deal. We're going to take a nice leap here to a higher stage. But we are not jumping straight to the last one. Got it?" Matt nodded, willing to agree with anything Mello said in his lust filled haze. He'd take anything he could get, suddenly glad he hadn't broken his unspoken promise to Mello to not drop tonight. Mello smiled lightly at him before his lips twisted into a smirk. Matt bit his lip as Mello's hips pushed against his. His groan was swallowed as the taste of chocolate invaded his mouth. _Mello_. Their tongues danced together, tangling and twisting. They were learning every corner of the others mouth as their hips rocked together. Both were letting out loud noises, neither caring who heard. They wanted it to last forever, but the lack of contact for so long mixed with the need and want of the other disagreed. It wasn't long before Matt found himself withering against the wall as Mello's hands kneaded his ass, fingers brushing against his entrance, and light burst behind his eyes. He felt Mello's hands squeeze tightly and his body move erraticly. Harsh breaths mingled as the slowed to a stop, Matt's feet dropping to the ground, body pressed to the wall still.

"WOW.." Matt whispered. and Mello grunted in agreement. "And that was without touching and with clothes on.. I can only imagine.." He felt his cock stir again and Mello pinched his ass.

"I told you. One step at a time, Matty. Just know, I'm not going anywhere." Matt nodded and kissed Mello again.

"As hot as that was, we've gotta go. Were just waiting for you two to finish." BB's voice broke the bubble they had surrounded themselves in. Matt blushed and Mello glared. BB laughed and walked away allowing the two to straighten themselves out before following him.

For a moment Matt thought about his needle waiting for him at home. Hidden. But for the first time, he was able to remind himself, _'you don't _need_ it.'_ He smiled over at the blonde who was holding his hand, and for the first time, allowing himself to believe Mello wouldn't leave him.

_'I guess it was just a matter of time before I fell..'_


	13. Engagement In Phone Calls And Marriage

A/N: Ok, So I admit, I was a little bummed about the lack of reviews. I wasn't going to stop the story though. I don't do that. Writing is a personal outlet, after all. I am glad it's being enjoyed by other. 3 THEN, I checked my e-mail.. That forgotten thing I haven't been on in a long time.. I had over 100 e-mails of people adding this story to their "story alert" and a few "favorite stories" and even a handful of "Favorite authors" and I was so excited! lol. So, to those of you who have been waiting, I'm sorry. Like I said before, June was an EXTREMELY busy month for me. I'm trying to catch up. My beta was on a cruise in Alaska too. She is also catching up. So, I originally had this chapter shorter. But with renewed enthusiasm, I fixed it. Added a special treat at the end thanks to the Ch 12 review from foreverunloved. You made me smile. 3

Disclaimer: I do not own Death Note of it's character.

Warning: Language. Mentions of alcohol use. Extreme sexual situation.

**~Engagement In Phone Calls and.. Marriage?~**

"MARRIED?" He had _NOT_ heard right, had he? He was, for once at his desk in the precinct, lounging in his computer chair. He had been downing his third Red Bull when BB came strolling in with a HUGE grin on his face. Matt had assumed it was due to some excellent sex. Oh, how wrong he was..

"Yes Matt. Married. I proposed last night, she said yes." Beyond was grinning from ear to ear. Matt was, to say the least, shocked as hell. It was a lot to take in. The guy who had become his closest friend (aside from Mello, of course). The guy who he used to have a sexual relationship with. The guy who swore he'd _never_ settle down. Well, he was now in fact, doing just that. Slowly his shock began to wear off. He was genuinely happy for him. Just.. So very _surprised.._

"I for one, think it's wonderful, Beyond. I'm happy you have decided to settle down. Naomi is a great woman." L spoke without removing his gaze from his screen. Matt and L's desks sat back to back in the middle of the room. The door was behind Matt to his right. On his left, there was a table set out where L was able to keep sweets and Matt kept coffee. BB was currently perched on the table, sucking the jelly out of a doughnut.

"Yeah, yeah, L. We all know you just loooove Naomi. If you were straight you'd go for it. Blah Blah Blah. But _you_, dear brother, are missing the highlight of this for you guys." He looked at Matt with a glint in his eyes. Matt's lips spread into a knowing smile.

"Bachelor Party!" He jumped up and high-fived his friend, pulling his hand away in disgust when some jelly transferred to his hand. "Ick. Come on, B. Learn to eat properly." He joked with a laugh. BB shrugged and gestured to his amazingly clean white button up shirt.

"As long as I keep it off my clothes, I live." Matt snorted at the implications. BB glared. "Shut up. Anyways. L, Naomi claimed you. Said that since there's not girls in the group that she likes much, she gets some of the guys. She claimed you and Mello. I get Matt and Light." L's eyes shifted to his twin's crimson gaze and after a short stare-down, nodded.

"Oh, man. This is going to be epic. I'll have to get with Light and conspire against you." Matt moved back to his seat and his fingers began moving over the keys at rapid speed.

"I'm counting on it." BB laughed as he made his exit.

"MELLO! NO!" Mello had just reached into his gun holster (that the agency just _insisted_ he wear, as well as _normal_ clothing) and pulled his weapon. He was headed out the door as Naomi grabbed him. "Oh come on, Mello! He proposed! I would've figured you'd love that he's making an honest woman of me." Naomi half joked. Mello stopped and looked at her like she was insane.

"I just want to warn him." He smiled evilly. Naomi rolled her eyes and pushed him down into his desk chair. A file folder was dropped before him and he groaned.

"Be happy for her, Mello. Besides. You all get to go have a girls night." Mello was about to take aim at Raito. He was constantly picking on him for his sharper feminine features.

"Need I remind you that your _boy_friend is part of that as well?" Naomi's arms crossed over her chest. Raito only laughed.

"Why should _I_ be offended? What does that tell you about our relationship?" He laughed as he began to walk away, pulling his jacket on. Mello glared as he met up with Beyond, who just waved and smiled innocently at him, at the exit. They got to head out to the new crime scene. Him and Naomi were stuck doing some paper work. Naomi sighed as she sat down across from Mello at her own desk, pulling a file in front of her.

"Come on, Mello. I love him. He loves me. And you get to plan my bachelorette party." The hopeful smile on her face forced a heavy sigh from him.

"Fine. I'm just glad you're happy. But I swear to God, Naomi. If he hurts you I'll fucking shoot him!" He cocked his gun for emphasis and Naomi giggled.

"I'd expect nothing less."

"MATT!" Mello was currently laying on the bed, his vest constricting his movement as it had been shoved down his shoulders and caught on his elbows before he was forced to lay back. His leather pants were unlaced and pulled wide open. Matt lay over him in his tight fitting jeans. Mello had gotten Matt's tight black button up shirt off. The red head was currently making a trail of kisses down his abdomen, nipping at his hipbones, and finally, _finally_ taking Mello's aching erection into his mouth. Matt moaned. This was the first time he had gotten this far with his it-better-happen-soon-or-I'm-going-to-go-crazy-lover. He had taken Mello by surprise. Not giving him a chance to pull away. He could feel Mello's hands in his hair, tugging and twisting.

He slowly worked Mello's pants off the rest of the way with some _very_ flexible moves on his part. He reached his right hand up to Mello's mouth, who didn't even thing twice when he pulled them into his mouth to suck. The fingers lingered there longer than intended, Matt enjoying the feel of Mello's tongue wrapped around them, moaning around Mello's cock. He finally pulled them away as Mello's lips separated to let out a particularly loud yell as Matt had hallowed his cheeks. One finger entered Mello. Then two. Mello moaned louder as Matt's fingers began to brush his prostate. Then the third. Matt's motions were a little rushed. After all he had wanted this for so bad, for so long. And time at the moment, was _not_ on their side.

They were _supposed_ to be getting ready to head out their separate ways to take the soon to be husband and wife out. After Matt's fingers jabbed into him a few rough times, Mello was exploding. Matt drank greedily from him, sucking him dry, a little trail of semen running down his chin. As he sat back, Mello's blue eyes still hazy, but working on focusing. He raised his thumb and wiped the trail up and into his mouth, sucking the last bit off his thumb. Mello let out a whimper and Matt proceeded to crawl up Mello's body. Legs wrapped around his waist, his own throbbing erection was pressed to Mello's stretched entrance. He leaned down and claimed Mello's lips. A hand was around his body, the other in his hair. His own hands were gripping his partner's hips, the tip of his cock began to press against the entrance.

"MATT! MELLO!" There was a banging on the door that pulled them both from their haze. Mello blinked, unsure of when Matt had gotten his pants off and his own jeans open to let him out. Matt groaned in frustration and stood, walking to the door, he slammed it open, completely uncaring that his erection bobbed up and down the whole way.

"WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU WANT?" He began to yell at BB before he noticed everyone else was with him. BB was laughing as Matt turned and tried to shove himself, painfully, into his jeans, and attempted to rebutton his shirt.

"Come on, Matty, time to go." He pulled the gamer with him, not even allowing him to go say good-bye to his interrupted almost lover. Naomi blushed as Mello was also covering himself, closing his pants.

"Sorry, Mello." She giggled. He shook his head.

"It's ok. I don't think we are quite ready for what we were about to do yet anyways." He sighed disappointingly. Naomi shook her head before leading Mello and L out as well.

"Oh man.. That was one _hell_ of a night. Matty, Raito, you out did yourselves. Thanks." Beyond was laying across the couch in Mello's living room.

"I think, it's best if you guys crash here tonight." Matt was sitting on BB's legs. Raito was in a chair, uncharacterlisticly slumping. Matt looked around at his two wasted friends and laughed.

"Great idea! Naomi told me I couldn't come home anyways. Thank God she wanted a late wedding! I would not make a morning one. I guess she's keeping L and Mello over at our place." BB go out.

"What? You mean L's not coming home?" Raito complained from his spot, his head lifting up to glare at the twin of his boyfriend. Matt chuckled.

"What? Can't go one night without L?" BB was taunting. Raito's glare deepened.

"We have a _very_ healthy sex life. Excuse me for wanting to be with him."

"Oh boo hoo. One night's not going to kill you. At least you get some!" Matt growled out. "Fuck, everyone in this room, gets some on a regular basis. Except me. AND I just had a male stripped all up on me who just happened to look a lot like Mello, thanks for that B, and I could hella use a cold fucking shower now." Matt threw himself to the floor face down, dramaticly. BB whistled.

"Still shutting you out then?"

"Shut the fuck up. I was so close earlier and you had to knock on the door!" His words were muffled.

"Have you tried talking to Mello?" It was Raito who spoke. When Matt just stared at him, he sighed. "Seriously, Matt. Conversation is important in a relationship if you want it to work. However, from what I gather, Mello cares about you a lot. More than he ever has anyone else. Maybe he believes his distance is what you need. Maybe he's waiting to hear you're ready for more. He loves you, and for the first time in his life, he's probably afraid." Matt blinked dumbly at Raito for a moment.

"Wow. I didn't realize you cared so much." He laughed lightly. Raito shrugged.

"I love L. L cares about you all. You're his family, which in turn makes you my family and me care about you."

"Thanks. L's a lucky guy." Matt had pulled himself up into a sitting position with his back against the couch.

"Yeah, seriously. I'm glad my brother found you. Even if you are a criminal." BB winked. Matt started laughing uncontrollably. BB and Raito looked at him like he had gone mad. "You ok? Little too much to drink there?"

"Naw.. Did any of you catch that? I think it's hilarious that it's us three here, and them three at your place. It's the three ex-cons and the three straight edge law enforcement." BB and Raito began to laugh at this as well. "Surprised they trust us so much."

**'Dirty babe.. You see these shackles.. Baby I'm your slave.. I'll let you whip me if I misbehave.. It's just that no one makes me feel this way'** Raito was fumbling around until he located his phone.

"Hey you." A huge grin was plastered to his face. It turned mischievous as the other person, presumably L, spoke. "Sure, Love. Hang on a sec." He winked at the other two before getting up and stumbling to L's room.

"I guess that means I'm rooming with you then?" BB was laughing again. Matt rolled his eyes.

"Like that was a question? Probably better that way anyways. Don't need Raito waking up in the middle of the night and thinking your L. I've heard stories of how he wakes him up."

**'When we're apart whatever are you thinking of? If this is what I call home, why does it feel so alone? So tell me darling, do you wish we'd fall in love? All the time, all the time..'**

BB's ring tone suddenly clashed with a techno remix of Zelda and boy guys reached for their own phone.

"Niiiiice ring tone there, B."

"Shut up. Naomi made it for me." Matt made the sound of a whip and BB flipped him off.

_'You better be being good! Love you! xxoo'_ BB laughed and showed Matt his text from Naomi. Matt's laughter increased as he showed BB his own phone, _'Do ANYTHING stupid, and I'll fucking shoot you both! x'_ They both lost it.

"So much for trust!" Matt fell back to the floor. "Ah, well, at least I DID get a kiss, yeah?"

"I can't believe he just hijacked the spare room for himself." Mello was complaining. Naomi shrugged.

"Not like you wouldn't have been sleeping with me anyways. I don't want to wake up thinking it's Beyond in bed with me." Naomi was laughing.

**'When we're apart whatever are you thinking of? If this is what I call home, why does it feel so alone? So tell me darling, do you wish we'd fall in love? All the time, all the time..' **

Naomi pulled her phone out and read her message, _'You know I'm only bad with you now. ;) Love you 2, sweet dreams. xoxo'_

"Aww! Who would've known Beyond could be so sweet and perverted at the same time?" Mello was laughing. Naomi giggled as she shut her phone.

"Yeah, he mad the ring tone too. He has it too. Matching set I guess. Though, he tells everyone I did it." Mello laughed harder.

**'I met him out for dinner on a Friday night. He really had me working up an appetite. He had tattoos up and down his arm. There's nothing more dangerous than a boy with charm. He's a one stop shop, makes the panties drop. He's a sweet-talkin', sugar coated candy man. A sweet-talkin', sugar coated candyman'**

Mello had to walk to the kitchen to grab his phone of the counter. He had left it next to the blender while making a margarita for Naomi, at her demand.

"Fitting." She laughed. He smiled to himself. "Matt make that?" He nodded.

"He _is_ the computer geek." He opened his text message, _'No promises. I was left with a pretty bad case of blue balls, you know. =P'_ He growled and hurried a reply as he sat back next to Naomi.

_'So now I'm just not enough for you then?'_

_'Calm down, Mels.. You know the only one I want is you. ;)'_

_'Sure.'_

_'Oh shut up. Now if you excuse me, I need to go take a shower while you're on my mind. Unless you want to call me too? B went and passed out. I'm alone.'_ This message included a picture. Matt was in the bathroom, naked, the shower running behind him. His left hand was holding his phone, taking a picture. His right hand was gripping onto his erection. Mello's eyes widened and he snapped his phone shut at the same time Naomi let out a scream.

"Oh wow. Didn't need to see that. I'm sorry." Her face was red. "So tell me, _Mels,_ why don't you want to have sex with him? There's proof otherwise." She pointed at Mello's crotch. Mello shoved the heel of his hand to it, trying to hide it. It was no use. Leather wasn't the best at hiding this particular issue.

"I never said I don't _want_ to. Just that it's not a great idea. Matt's not ready." He shifted uncomfortably.

"He looked pretty _ready_ to me." Naomi winked. Mello groaned as he reopened the message to reply and caught another glimpse. "Ok, I'm going to go lay down. Why don't you join poor Matty in the shower?" She laughed as she ran to her room, effectively cutting off any reply Mello had time to think of. He sat there a moment with his declining message ready to send. He hit the 'end' button and shrugged. What the hell? He got up and moved to the bathroom, removing his clothes slowly, taking a shot by shot mini photo shoot as he went. He then put them in order on a picture message and sent it to Matt.

Matt had assumed Mello blew off the idea. He had taken enough time. So, he climbed into he shower. Then he heard the techno style 'Legend of Zelda' and his erection came right back, cold water be damned. Sure, Mello could be declining. However, that did _not_ stop images of passing through his mind. He dried his hands and grabbed his phone. He slipped and almost dropped his phone as the message opened. A step by step strip tease. He'd have to save these.

Picture #1: Mello was unzipping his vest.

Picture #2: Vest was off his shoulders.

Picture #3: He was pulling at the laces of his pants.

Picture #4: His erection was hanging out of his pants.

Picture #5: Mello was holding his erection in his grip, and he was biting his lip.

Matt almost came right then and there as a loud moan left his lips. 'Candyman' played on his phone and he forced his breath to even out. "Hhey." Damn it. Epic fail. There was a chuckle on the other end of the line.

"I assume that was long enough for you to admire the pictures."

"Fuck, Mels.. I've _never_ been this hard before. You fucking tease." Matt was sitting on the floor of the shower, the spray directed to his legs.

"I called you didn't I?" Matt couldn't argue there.

"You have no idea how badly I want you right now, Mello. How badly I've been wanting you for years without even noticing it. Months with it being _painfully _obvious to me." He heard Mello chuckle once again.

"I doubt I have _no_ idea, Matty. After all, it's been the same on my end."

"And yet you've denied ever advance I've made on you." Matt frowned.

"I'm not denying this one, am I?" Mello's voice sounded of a mix of anger and frustration. It was deeper than normal. Matt bit his lip.

"No, you're not. I'd ask you what you're wearing, but I have picture proof that the answer is absolutely nothing." His hand slowly moved down his body.

"Yes, and I do owe you a bit, don't I? So.. You know what I'd do to you if I was there?" Mello's voice dropped lower and sounded husky, making Matt moan in anticipation.

"Tell me, Mello. Tell me everything you'd like to do." His finger wrapped around his erection, but he refused to move his hand until Mello started talking again.

"First, I would just _have_ to claim your amazing lips in a passionate kiss. I can't get enough of those lips, Matty. Then I'd kiss my way across your jaw and down your neck, stopping to suck on your collar bone. Then I'd move down and suck on a nipple. I'm quite curious about how sensitive you are there." Matt moaned as he had moved his hand to follow Mello's words, eyes closed. His fingers tweaking one nipple.

"Mello.." It was almost a whisper. Mello groaned, which made Matt's cock twitch from neglect.

"I take that as a _very_.. So in that case, I'd switch to the other one for a moment before my impatience gets the better of me. My tongue would dip between the curves of your abs that you always hide away. My teeth would skim your hip bone. And as much as I'd love to torture you, I can't wait to taste you. So I'd take you into my mouth." Matt's fingers leisurely moved down his abs. Mello was right. They were defined, and he did hide them. He scrapped his nails over his hip at the mention of teeth. And finally, his fingers closed around his erection. "I would swirl my tongue around the head, dipping it into the slit. I bet you taste so _good_, Matty. Now that my curiosity is sated, I'd move back up your body and recapture your lips." Matt let out a whimper of loss as he removed his hand from his cock.

"Mello.. Please." He let out pleadingly. He heard Mello let out a cry of pleasure.

"You wouldn't even notice at first, being so caught up in the kiss. I'd have you aligned to me, and I'd shove myself down on you, all at once. I wouldn't even pause. I would keep moving over you, enticing you to thrust up and meet me. I need you as much as you need me, Matty." From there neither one could speak much. Whimpers, moans, whispers of the other's names were said as they both stroked themselves to completion. "Come for me, Matty." And he did. His eyes shot open and all he could see was white. He shouted his lovers name and let out gasps of pleasure. Mello's own cries followed in his ear. Matt lay there with the water still splashing him, washing away the mess. He felt like jello.

"Wow." Matt finally breathed. "Mello.. Fuck. And that was just over the phone.. I can't wait to try it for real." He smirked as he tried to pull himself a safer distance from the water. Mello was laughing.

"Shut up, Matt. I don't need to think of that. Neither of us need a problem returning at the moment." Matt made a noise of agreement. "Get some sleep. I'll see you in a few hours. Night, Matty."

"Mmm.. Ok. Night, Mels." He made a kissing noise and they both hung up. That was definitely the _best_ phone call Matt had ever had.

A/N: Does anyone else think it's hot in here? ;)

Ok, I HAD to have a Raito moment. I hope the Mello love is starting to show through a little bit. I should mention.. I'm extremely embarrassed by the idea of phone sex, and have no personal experience with this. Yes, it was kinda one sided.. But like Mello said, he owed Matt. =3


	14. To Know Yourself

A/N: So the reviews (even if I only get one or two) and the favorites get me hella pumped to post the next chapter! Also more adds to fav story and story alert. Lots of love to my MxM one-shot "You Oughta Know".. No love on "Red".. Is it that the story sucks or just limited fans on the pairing? Wish someone would let me know. haha. You guys are EPICLY AWESOME! I've been adding some stuff in the middle of the chapters I had already written solely because you all made me want to make it the best I could. And I personally love a good suspense in sexual tension. ;) It makes the actual Lemon that much more enjoyable. It still gets me when I see a review or anything from an author I read a lot of MxM stuff from that I loved. I've been reading for like 5 years before finally posting my own work. Chapter 13 and 14 were not planned originally. Though I _think_ Chapter 15 will be the next planned one. Hope you enjoy! 3 3 3

foreverunloved: I'm absolutely ecstatic that I can make you're day!

ShinigamiMailJeevas: I'm also glad I gave you something good to wake up to. =) Who would NOT want Mello talking to them _that_ way? lol. 3

It's really awesome having people read and _like_ my work. I enjoy writing more than almost anything else. 3 One day I hope to be an author. I have a book in the making even. I just don't know how to even go about trying to get someone to publish me without getting ripped off. .

Oh wow.. all the 3 I've been making. I'm so full of love right now! haha. 3 3 3 3 3

Disclaimer: I do not own Death Note or it's characters.

Warnings:

**~Chapter 14: To Know Yourself~**

Matt had woken up feeling better than when he had gone to sleep. He stretched and felt his joints pop before he relaxed into the bed once again. Memories of the night before phone call and pictures flooded in his mind and he whimpered. That was _not_ going to help the morning wood issue. His eyes shot open when he felt a finger poke his cheek.

"As much as I enjoy the show you're giving, Matty, it's time to get up. You're the best man. Aren't you supposed to make sure _I _wake up one time? Not me waking you up?" BB was standing over him in jeans and a black t-shirt. Matt swatted his hand away and pulled some covers into his lap. He had pulled on a pair of lounge pants after his shower and fell into bed. They did absolutely nothing to hide the very visible tent there. "He leave you hanging?"

"Shut up." Matt blushed and looked away, refusing to meet BB's eyes. The crimson orbs widened and he let out a laugh.

"Well fuck me. Mello gave it, didn't he?" When Matt didn't answer he laughed and ran out the door yelling, "Yo, Raito! Mello gave in! Matt got some phone action last night!" Matt rolled his eyes as he heard the other man laugh in response. He grabbed his phone to check for any missed messages and saw he had a text from Mello.

_'Ugh! I have freaking Bridezilla over here! Hope you're having better luck. Beyond better fucking be there or I'll castrate him!'_ Matt laughed and sent a simple _'=3'_ back to him before heading out to take a quick shower.. Again. He had no time to indulge in his fantasies however, so he set the water to ice cold. While in there he heard his phone go off again. No doubt, he had pissed off the blonde. He smiled to himself and stepped out, wrapping a towel around his waist as he headed to the kitchen. _'!'_ was all it said. He started to laugh and BB and Raito looked at him questioningly.

"Apparently you wife-to-be is going Bridezilla on Mello and L." BB looked at him worriedly and Matt stopped him from grabbing his own phone. "Chill B. It's more like a, 'he better fucking be there too!' than a 'I can't do this' type of thing. You're good." BB nodded reluctantly.

"We need to get dressed. We need to head out since we slept in a little later than planned." Matt smiled reassuringly at his friend before heading into his room, both men followed. They had decided since Matt's room was bigger, it was more suited to get ready in. Kinda girly, yeah. But it was just the three of them. He pulled on a pair of plain black boxers before unzipping the garment bag on the door. He sighed as he began piecing everything together, extremely grateful as he heard BB and Raito laughing at his obvious confusion before they helped him, fully dressed already themselves.

Mello's jaw hit the floor. He could _not _believe what he was currently seeing. You see.. It all started this morning..

Naomi had woken up and went into pure "OH MY FUCKING GOD I'M GETTING MARRIED IN A FEW HOURS!" Psychotic bridezilla mode. Mello had his hands full of trying to calm her down. _Of course_ she was a lot more like Mello in 'I don't give a shit what you say about them loving me at the moment.' than anyone would ever assume. He had kept trying to tell her that Beyond was devoted to her. That he loved her. That he'd be there and they'd live happily ever after. Nothing. Worked. It was then that Mello decided to just shake her and tell her to calm the fuck down, shut the hell up, and to sit her ass on the stool so Sayu could help her with her hair already. She complied quietly. Not very traditional. But it was definitely Mello. Win.

After everyone was ready, they headed out. They had to get there first to have Naomi in a tent that was up already for here. It was an outdoor wedding. BB getting married in a church? Right. That made him laugh. The wedding would be happening at dusk. Mello guessed Naomi and Sayu had plenty of decorative lights at the location. He wasn't sure. Didn't particularly care. Who in their right mind would want to get _married?_ And that led him to where he currently was. He had escaped for some air away from Naomi who was fussing with everything on _him_. His suit was perfect, but she had to keep making sure. He had been standing in a lobby to the hotel they were using when the groom's party walked in and he sighed in relief. One less thing to worry about. L walked in first, BB stood out among them. His suit was white with a white shirt and black tie. He wore a white fedora with a black stripe around it. All the other guys were opposite. What really got him was Matt.

Like previously stated, Mello's jaw hit the floor. He had _never_ seen Matt dressed this way. Not once. Sure, _technically_ they were required to dress like this for work. Everyone had to wear suits. That never once stopped Matt from showing up in skinny jeans and some sort of striped or gaming t-shirt. He got away with it because he worked behind closed doors along with L. But now, among the group walking towards him, was Matt dressing in a way that caused Mello to think he was dreaming. His three piece suit was pressed and fit tightly on his muscular body. The white tie stood out next to a red rose in his vest pocket. He had never pictured Matt wearing a hat, but fuck he made it work. His red hair stood out among the black. But most of all, green eyes were uncovered, staring directly into his own eyes. He vaguely heard Beyond speaking, but he couldn't bring himself to care. Matt was laughing and he felt a finger on his chin, snapping his mouth closed with a snap. How embarrassing.

"Matt.. You look.. Just. Wow." Smooth Mello. Matt beamed at him and captured his lips in a tender kiss.

"Wow yourself, Mello. The look suits you." He winked. The shock finally wore off as he noted the devilish look in those green eyes, and he knew his face rearranged itself to match.

"Ok, now that you both probably have matching hard ons, you wanna answer me?" Beyond spoke again. Mello turned his gaze to him, silently asking him to repeat the question. He saw crimson eyes roll, but noted the amusement there. "I said, how is Naomi?" Mello's face scrunched up a moment as he groaned.

"Don't make me go back yet. I just got here. If you aren't at that alter when she walks up the aisle, she'll castrate _all_ of us." The other three laughed at Mello's serious expression.

"I shall go inform her of our arrival." L slipped away.

"He just wants to see Raito." Matt laughed. BB nodded in agreement before excusing himself to go greet a few guest. Friends and coworkers of both. Any family Naomi had. They were all waiting for the event to begin in the open garden out back. "He's freaking out. He's hiding it, yes. But on the inside, he's probably worse than Naomi is." Matt whispered to Mello who made a noise of acknowledgment. He then turned his gaze back to Matt's face. It was lit up. His eyes were looking out a window to the backyard where BB was passing the tent his fiance was in, making sure BB didn't give into temptation. Once he passed, his green eyes moved to meet icy blue and he blushed. "What?"

"Nothing. I just.. Can't get over how absolutely amazing you look. You clean up real well, Matty." His hand reached up to stroke Matt's reddened cheek before pulling him into a kiss. Matt groaned as Mello deepened it, only pulling away reluctantly as he remembered they were in the middle of a hotel lobby. Sure enough, almost all eyes were on them, whispers around the room.

"I'm nothing compared to how great you look, Mels. But lets save all this for later. The wedding will start soon. We've gotta get to our places." His hands were stroking Mello's chest, smoothing out his jacket.

"I still don't get why I have to walk down the aisle like a chick." He rolled his eyes. Matt laughed.

"Because you're on the _bridal_ party. Now, go. Before Naomi freaks. L just went outside." He pushed Mello out towards the tent and smacked his ass once before standing next to L outside the tent. A few moments passed before Mello rejoined him and he music began to play. He took Mello's arm in his own and led him up the aisle. The blonde was just happy he didn't have to carry flowers. They separated at the alter, Matt standing next to Beyond, and Mello next to the empty spot where Naomi would stand. They watched as L and Raito joined them. Then the wedding march started and Naomi emerged on her father's arm. She looked beautiful in a flowing white gown. The sleeves were off the shoulders and the skirt trailed behind her. Matt clapped Beyond on the shoulder before his eyes met Mello's once again.

Blue eyes became alert as green turned to him with a smile. He watched Matt's face as the wedding proceeded. They both handed off rings when needed. But other than that, Mello was only vaguely aware of anything other than the red head across from him. It was in that moment that Mello realized he wanted to share everything he could with that man. His entire life and being. Mind, heart, body, and soul. He wanted Matt. Forever. And when they met in the aisle once again to head out, that question repeated in his head, 'Who would want to get _married?_'

_'I do.'_

A/N: o I just had to end it with a cliche line. haha.

Anyone else drool over the image of Matt and Mello (and L, BB, Raito for that matter) in a suit like this? I personally have a thing for fedoras. 3

Hope you all enjoyed the fluff!


	15. Bad Boy

A/N: So, one of my best friends (15 years!) just got married! So happy for her. The baby of our close 3 some of best friends. I'm the only single one left.. That part sucks.. But eh. But anyways.. There's like 3 chapters left.. Ish? Including this one. Unless I decide it needs another filler between stuff.. It happens. 3

foreverunloved: If I could create music, I'd be in business. lol.

wishingbell: Aw, thanks! 3 I actually LOVE those three hanging out. I have so many ideas of shenanigans they can get into.. Though that'll be another fic I'm working on.

Disclaimer: I do not own Death Note or it's characters.

Warnings:

**~Chapter 15: Bad Boy~**

_**Be my bad boy, be my man**_

_**Be my week-end lover**_

_**But don't be my friend**_

_**You can be my bad boy**_

_**But understand**_

_**That I don't need you in my life again**_

The reception party was in full swing. Naomi had changed into a shorter version of her wedding gown. Matt and Mello both had to give a speech. L had stolen most of Raito's cake after inhaling his own. Everyone was pretty wasted. Two words.. Open. Bar. Matt was currently in the middle of the dance floor with Mello. The blonde's hands were _everywhere.._ Not that Matt was complaining. Both had hung their jackets on chairs, untucked their shirts, and loosened their ties.. Mello's fingers kept attempting to dive into Matt's shirt. The redhead kept swatting his hands away, laughing.

"Mello.. Come on. Save it for later. We can't take off until BB and Naomi do." Mello pulled Matt's body flush to his.

"I'm not sure I can wait that long.. I've wanted you for far to long." Matt blushed and looked away. Mello loved Naomi that moment for banning the gamers goggles to the event. They were so big and expressive. They gave away everything he was feeling. When Matt's green eyes met Mello's blue once again, Mello thought he'd lose it. Matt's eyes were so full of need. Want. Desire. Lust. _Love._

"And, I've wanted you for a long time, _Mello_.." His eyes hooded and he spoke huskily as he spoke his name. Mello moaned and instinctively rolled his hips into Matt's. "However, I am not about to ditch two of our closest friends at their wedding reception, nor am I going to openly rape you on the dance floor.. No matter how badly I want to." Mello groaned disapprovingly.

"You're such a tease."

"But I'm _your_ tease.. Besides, Naomi will throw the bouquet soon, and then her and B will head out and we can right after." Mello captured Matt's lips in a quick needy kiss.

"Ok then. I'll see you a little later." Mello was about to turn until he noted Matt's confused expression. "I'm going to do what I can to get Naomi to throw the fucking flowers! I'm about to burst!" Matt laughed as Mello adjusted his lower half.

"Here." Both were confused as a drink was thrust into Mello's hand. They turned to find a smirking Beyond Birthday. "I've been trying to get her to 'through the fucking flowers' as you stated for over an hour. Maybe you'll have better luck." Mello returned the smirk.

"Glad to have you on our side for this one." Mello stated.

"Yeah, yeah. Fucking go already. Besides, Matty here needs to get some too." He clapped Matt on the back. The red head sputtered, but was ignored.

"Oh, no worries there.." And Mello turned away with a devilish grin on his face. BB turned back to his shocked friend and grinned innocently.

"So, what's up, Matt?" Matt's face sobered and he shook his head.

"I need a drink. You and Mello teaming together? God help us all." He began to walk away and BB followed.

"Now, now, Matt. You're not religious." They reached the bar and Matt handed BB a beer as he took a swig of his own. "I'm not sure either of us _need_ this.. But.." He shrugged and gulped down some of his own. Matt laughed.

"Seriously. You and Mello could take over the world if you wanted to. If you didn't have such an issue with him that is." Matt and BB grabbed a few chairs and pulled them in a corned to talk. The both straddled the chairs, facing the dance floor, using the backs to lean against for support. BB gave his a serious look.

"Hey, I don't have any issue with him. He's kool. My only problem was that he hurt you. And then watching you both dance around your feelings. Now if only he would fuck the shit out of you." He winked as Matt's face began to blend in with his hair.

"So.." The embarrassed red head coughed, desperate to switch the light off of himself. "Erm.. Do you ever miss it? You know.. You're _bi.._ When you're with a woman, do you ever miss being the uke once in a while?" BB's confused expression slowly morphed to realization as the explanation came. He got a dazed look in his face before his face morphed once again into a look Matt would always describe as _evil._ He shuddered.

"Aw.. Is that your way of seeing if I miss _you_, Matty?" When Matt rolled his eyes, he continued. "Come on. You know you miss me. The long sleepless nights. They got intense. It was fun."

"Ya, it was fun. But we both know it for what it was. Fun. So stop trying to mess with me." Matt's green eyes flashed with a brief moment of longing.

"It's weird. Seeing your eyes. Not once did you ever take your goggles off when we messed around. I never understood why until right now. They're so expressive. You can't hide shit with them uncovered. Did you know that?" Matt's eyes shifted uncomfortably and he shrugged.

"I've been told. I never take them off with anybody. It's just.. Too personal I guess." He refused to meet BB's eyes.

"Matt? Are you ok? With everything? Do you have any regrets?" All the emotions playing in his eyes were confusing him.

"Hm? Yeah, of course, B. I'm happy for you. We had fun. Friends messing around. Sure, it sucks not getting laid whenever I feel like it, but the way Mello makes me feel.. It's a whole nother level. If I have to wait, I will. Shit, I haven't gotten laid since the last time we rolled before he even came back. I think once he walked back into my life, I _couldn't_ do it anymore. Even if you would've let me try. You were right. Me and Mels.. We've been dancing around our feelings.. Not only the last few months.. But since we were kids and teens even. And I'm sure you feel that way about Naomi. Haven't you had a thing for her since she had you handcuffed as a criminal?" Matt teased him. BB had confided in him that he had met Naomi briefly before. While him and Mello had been in school, Naomi had been helping L track him. Once he saw her, she had him shoved against a wall roughly, handcuff tightly in place. Once L had struck a deal with him, she had gone to the states, where she had seemed to have met up with Mello, taking down Rod Ross in the Mafia.

"Hey, I won't lie. It was love at first sight. I made a pass at her, and she pulled me off the wall to slam me back into it. I laughed, she did it again. What can I say? But no, by the way. To answer your question. I don't really miss anything. But there's a reason for this. You see, Naomi.. Well, she wants to take care of me. And she _knows_ I'm bi. Obviously. She knows we used to switch topping. So I guess one day she had been thinking and got all insecure thinking she wasn't enough. I came home one night from a long day.. She topped me that night. I proposed that night." He winked at Matt who's jaw was to the floor. His eyes were wide with disbelief. He had no idea what to say to _that._ Thankfully, he was saved. A third chair was pulled up to face them, and Raito plopped down. Seeing him sitting in a chair backwards as they were was different. They were so used to Raito being so _elegant_.

"Beyond, I know this is your wedding, but I would like to speak with you before you disappear for your honeymoon. I do not think I would be able to wait to do as I wish for two more weeks." BB motioned for him to continue, his curiosity peaked. "It's about L. I know that you are all he has of a living blood relative. Call me old fashioned if you must, but in place of your father, I am asking you for his hand." BB looked taken aback. Matt was smiling as he drank his beer. Raito just watched BB as he took in what had been said.

"So, you want to marry my brother?" He was nodding as he spoke, almost like he was trying to comprehend the situation, and in his intoxicated state, he probably was having some trouble doing that. "You do realize you don't need my permission, don't you? Me and L don't exactly have the best history. Nor are we all that close." Raito smiled softly.

"I am aware of this. Yet, you do know that L has all but forgotten about your past. I'm not an innocent either, as you know. He loves you, Beyond. And though I know I do not _need_ your blessing, I still wish to have it. You mean a lot to L. He will want it as well. As I said, I am old fashioned." Raito tipped his beer towards BB before sipping it. His lover's twin smiled with a small laugh leaving his lips.

"Like I'm going to say no to you, Raito. You make L happy. And I'd be lying if I said I didn't find it amusing that he fell for a fellow criminal. Besides, it's _obvious_ I liked you, considering we used to work together in our criminal activities."

"Who would have thought that being busted finally would be the best thing to happen to us. I would have never guessed I'd fall in love with your brother. Twin brother at that." Raito and BB were laughing and Matt smiled. He was happy for them. They had deserved to find love. BB was married to the woman of his dreams. Raito would marry the love of his life since there was no doubt in Matt's mind that L would say yes. And himself? He lifted his eyes as the sensation of being watched hit him. His eyes landed on icy blue across the room. Naomi and L were next to him. They had been talking. He vaguely noted Naomi was looking at him as well, but he couldn't pull his eyes from Mello. The blonde tipped his hat at him and sent a devilish smile before he turned back to Naomi. Matt smiled and when he looked back at his two fellow ex-con friends, they were staring at him.

"What?" he blushed.

"Just looks like you'll be getting laid very soon, Matty." BB smiled like the Cheshire cat.

"Shut the fuck up." He glared. Raito's smile matched BB's.

"It's about damn time too, Matt. You've been irritable with the mix of drug withdraw and sex withdraw." Raito joined BB. Matt felt ganged up on.

"Why are you two so interested in _my_ sex life?"

"The lack there of." BB barked out.

"I feel like the kid being picked on."

"You_ are_ the kid being picked on. You're the youngest. We have quite a few years on you." Raito clarified. Matt was about to retort before a new hand was in his sight. He followed it up the arm and to the half burnt face of Mello. His eyes were full of that same desired look as before. Matt took his hand and allowed himself to be pulled to his feet and into a short kiss.

"Naomi sent me. She said we all need to get right in our clothes so she can get one last picture of us before she _finally_ throws the bouquet." His fingers ran through the hair on the side and back of Matt's head, the hat covering the rest.

"She wants us to clean up for a picture we're going to be wasted in?" Matt laughed. Mello opened his mouth but his voice was cut off but BB's.

"She's ready to throw the bouquet, Matt. So shut up and clean up." BB had tucked his shirt back in and was pulling his vest closed. Raito was slowly standing and following his lead. When Matt hadn't moved, BB moved over and started to shove Matt's shirt in his pants, startling him back to reality. He smacked at his hands.

"What the fuck, I can do it."

"The do it!" Matt wanted to laugh, but he was so serious.

"Wow, B. Desperate?"

"Shut up. You don't know the things that were promised for the honeymoon!" Matt's laughter that had escaped cut off and he nodded, righting his clothes as BB and Raito walked away.

"Do I want to know?" He heard Mello murmur in his ear.

"Lets just say. B has quite a few unorthodox fantasies." Mello nodded. When Matt stepped forward to start to shove Mello's shirt in his pants as BB had to him, Mello don't slap his hands away. Instead, he pulled him closer.

"Oh no you don't! We're waiting on you two!" BB was back and pulling them to where Naomi, L, and Raito were waiting.

The past hour was a blur to Matt's intoxicated mind. Dozens of pictures. A last moment with all six of them together just talking and laughing. Naomi through the bouquet where she had force Mello and L to join the women, much to Mello's distaste. Sayu caught it, much to _Raito's_ distaste. When BB was finally able to sweep his new bride from the party to their suite, Mello was pulling Matt to him.

"One more dance before we go?" Mello's voice was husky in his ear. He shivered in anticipation. How could that one request be full of so much promise? He nodded and allowed Mello to pull him to the dance floor. "It's nice to see you like this again. All dressed up and looking as mouth watering as you do. So.. _Edible._" Matt groaned as Mello's tongue ran down his throat.

"Mello.." He whispered as hands roamed his body. "I don't understand why you want me so much. I fucked up so badly. The drugs. I'm an ex-_con_." Mello pulled away at his insecure words and looked him in the eyes.

"I kinda like it, actually. You have a bit of a bad boy side. I'm not the innocent you make me out to be either, Matty." His hands cradled Matt's face. They stood in the center of the thinning dance floor. The party dying without the bride and groom there.

"_You_ did what you did for the FBI, Mels." He laughed at the comparison. Mello sighed.

"Well, you're _my _ex-con." And lips crushed together once again. Mello's hands moved down his chest and around his waist. Matt's hands traveled up the Mello's chest and around his neck. Matt wasn't surprised when he lost the fight to dominate the kiss. Mello's tongue mapped out his mouth, and his hands slid into his back pockets, squeezing his ass and grinding their hips together. Suddenly Mello pulled away, a hurt and angry expression on his face. He retracted his right hand and opened his fist between them, confirming his suspicions. The fog in Matt's mind cleared and he saw what Mello was holding. "What the _FUCK_ is this, Matt?"

"A pokeball.." He stated like it was nothing. This seemed to piss Mello off further, and realization him Matt. "Oh. No! No, Mels! It's not like that. Misa and Mikami offered it to me. I said no, I swear. But they kept shoving it at me. I finally took it and put it in my pocket so I could flush it later so they'd leave me alone." He pleaded desperately for Mello to understand.

"You should've just walked away, Matt!" He pulled away roughly.

"I couldn't. They're my _friends_, Mello. I didn't know how." His hands were stretched out, but Mello just jerked away.

"Is that so? Then here, allow me to demonstrate!" He tossed the little baggy at the stunned gamer and turned, walking away. Tears fell down Matt's face. Mello was leaving. He was walking away from him. Out of his life. Again. This time, he wasn't sure he'd ever see him again.

A/N: Don't kill me! 3


	16. Better Than Drugs

A/N: So.. Since I fear for my life.. I will be posting this chapter today.. I had intended to post it the same night as chapter 15.. But I got caught up playing Black Ops.. My bad. 3 Approximately 2 chapters AFTER this one..

PopTarts are yummy: I'm glad you enjoy the details. lol. 3 Sorry for it being an issue for you not to yell though. I guess I'm doing something right then?

foreverunloved: I didn't do anything.. It was all Mello and Matt! 3 lol. I hate that it had to happen, but it did. I promise, it's so worth it!

Gami: I'm sorry. There had to be SOME suspense. lol. But I can't make you all wait too long.. I don't have it in me. I don't intend on Mello being stupid.. But drug addictions can be _VERY_ hard. They can make or break any relationship, no matter how much you love each other. The trust is tested regularly. It is very strenuous. And like I said, it was necessary for this chapter you're about to read. 3

Disclaimer: I do not own Death Note or it's characters..

Warnings: Language, Sex, Mentions of drug use, Sex, Mentions of alcohol use, Sex, oh, and did I mention Sex? Of the Yaoi variety.. 3

**Chapter 16: Better Than Drugs**

_**You're better than drugs**_

_**your love is like wine**_

_**Feel you comin' on so fast**_

_**Feel you comin' to get me high**_

_**You're better than drugs**_

_**Addicted for life**_

_**Feel you comin' on so fast**_

_**Feel you comin' on to get me high**_

_**Feel you when I'm restless**_

_**Feel you when I cannot cope**_

_**You're my addiction, my prescription, my antidote**_

_**You kill the poison**_

_**Ease the suffering**_

_**Calm the rage when I'm afraid**_

_**To feel again**_

_**How can I tell you just all that you are**_

_**What you do to me**_

What. The. Fuck? Had that really just happened? Matt wasn't sure how long he stood there staring in the direction Mello had left. He knew his response time was hindered due to the alcohol in his system. His heart was breaking and all he could do was stand there like the idiot he was.

"Matt? Are you alright? You have been standing there staring at the door for approximately five minutes now. I had assumed you and Mello would have gone home together?" Five minutes? Was that all that had passed? Huh.. It felt like five _hours_.. He slowly turned his head to look at L. Raito was standing with him. Both looked concerned. L watched as Matt's face turned from shocked and confused to angry and determined. He fucking _left!_ "Go, Matt. Don't let him go without a fight. _Make_ him listen." Matt smiled at L and nodded before taking off out of the door, suddenly feeling _very_ sober.

~because~for~some~reason~it~won't~let~me~do~regular~lines!~

Mello was currently standing before the bed, shoving clothes, books, and chocolate into a duffel bag. How could he? Why wasn't he enough for Matt? Why did he need to take drugs still? Didn't the idiot know how he felt?

_'No'_ The sane part of his mind whispered. Unfortunately, it wasn't loud enough, and he was too far away from sanity. He hadn't registered the sound of a door slamming in the distance. It was only when he heard the bedroom door slam and felt himself be violently turned did he realize Matt had followed him. _Of course_ he had. He had o make this harder than it had to be. The determination in Matt's eyes however, threw him off for a moment. But the angry and hurt emotions raced through him harder. Rejection. Betrayal. Uselessness.

"What the fuck, Matt? I'm almost done. I'll be out of here in no time and you can go meet up with your druggie friends and forget about me." Pain flashed in the green eyes he loved so much. His own chest tightened. He hated hurting him. But the sadistic side of him was glad he could make the red head feel a fraction of what he felt. He opened his mouth to speak again. To say every hurtful thing he could, but he wasn't given a chance.

"Shut the fuck up Mello. For once, you are going to _listen_." He pulled out the little bag that contained the pill that had started it all. Mello growled and was about to cuss him out. "I said, Shut. The. Fuck. Up. And. Listen! You're right. I should have just walked away, ok? I didn't want to cause any drama at the wedding though. So I took it and put it in my pocket to toss away later. I didn't need anyone else from the force seeing this! But _you_.. I need you to see _this._" He grabbed Mello's wrist and pulled him towards the bathroom. He let go and left him in the doorway.

"If this is what you need to see Mello, then watch." He opened the bag and turned it over, allowing the pill to fall in the toilet. The bag was tossed to the ground as a hand raised to flush it. Matt then knelt and pulled a small wooden sewing box from under the sink. He opened it to show Mello the various sharp blades inside. Mello gasped and his chest tightened. Matt pushed him aside and went into the room, placing the box on the desk by the window. "Stay, Mello. Stay and it's gone. For good. Right now. Just tell me you'll stay." Matt was crying as he fell to his knees before the blonde. Mello bit his lip and looked up, willing the tears not to come. He was Mello. He doesn't cry. His anger was slipping and the lump in his throat grew until it finally pushed past his lips as a sob, and the dam was broken. He fell onto the bed, his face in his hands. Matt crawled over to him and pulled his hands away. He could count the number of times he had seen Mello cry on one hand. And he was pretty sure it had only been twice before.

"Why Matt? Just tell me _why_. Why do you do it? Why am I not enough for you?" His left hand was cupping Matt's face while the fingers on his right caressed his cheek. Matt's tears flooded his face as Mello's questions hit him like a knife to the heart, twisting upon contact. He reached his own hand up to Mello's face.

"Oh, Mels.. You _are_ enough. I know I've had a few slips over these past few months. It isn't easy. But I _promise_ you. I only took it today to get them to leave me alone. I didn't use it. I could have. I thought about it. But I just remembered _you_. I need you. I can't do this without you. You are better than any drug. I crave you in a way I have never craved anything else. I'm addicted to you. Only you. I'm drowning in you, and I _never_ want to be rescued." He pressed his lips to Mello's, letting the words register in his mind. Only when he felt Mello's arms wrap around him and his lips press back, did Matt pull away. He stood and Mello watched him move around the room. He went to his night stand, his dresser, the entertainment center, the rack where his games were kept, and the book shelf. All the while, he deposited different blades on the desk with the box. He then opened the box and put them all inside and closed it again. He turned to face a shocked Mello and smiled sheepishly. "Stay?" He placed the box in his lap, and Mello peered inside, his stomach twisting in knots when he saw the bag of white powder and a few needles with them. The blonde slowly stood and stepped over to the window.

"Is this all of it?" Matt nodded. Mello smiled weakly and tossed the box out of the window to the dumpster below. Matt came up behind him and wrapped his arms around his waist, resting his forehead between his shoulder blades. "Do you regret giving it to me?"

"Never. I told you. You're all I need. All I want." Mello turned so quickly in Matt's arms that even with the gamers fast reflexes and senses, he almost fell to the ground as Mello launched himself into his arms, capturing his lips in a heated and passionate kiss. It wasn't demanding. In a way, it was questioning. Mello needed reassuring that Matt meant what he said. With that in mind, he turned them so Mello's legs were against the bed. He unbuttoned his shirt and slipped it from his shoulders, kissing down his neck and scarred shoulder. His fingers worked at the belt and slacks, pulling them down along with Mello's boxers. He pulled him to sit on the bed, and pulled his shoes and closes from his body before his lips wrapped around Mello's throbbing erection. He heard a moan above him and felt his fedora being knocked off his head as fingers ran through and tangled in his hair. He sucked harder, and worked faster until Mello lent over him with a yell, and his mouth filled with his essence. After a moment, he pushed Mello back onto the bed and helped him turn so his head was on the pillows.

"Why are you still dressed, Matty?" A demonic smirk played on his lips as he spoke, and Matt couldn't help but return it.

"You know, I realized I still owe you for the other night." He pulled away, motioning for Mello to stay put as he moved to the stereo and turned it on. Some variety of techno music played and Mello watched as Matt flipped a few switches so there was a soft green glow in the room. "Your favorite color, right?" His eyes smiled with amusement.

"How did you-?"

"I know _you_, Mels." Mello bit his lip as he watched Matt walk to the foot of the bed. He pulled his jacket off slowly before his hands moved back to unbutton his vest. As he realized the Matt intended to give him a show, he was suddenly _very_ grateful that Naomi had forced them to redress for pictures. The vest came off just as slowly. Matt began to dance to a slower beat as he unbuttoned his shirt, leaving it on, but open. His hands moved to his pants and they too were open. Shoes and socks were toed off as his shirt slipped from his shoulders. As Mello lay there, he was painfully hard again before Matt's pants were even removed. He couldn't help but think about how damn sexy he looked at that moment. An image he would keep in his mind forever. Matt's chest and feet bare, his pants open and riding low along with his boxers on his hips. His eyes bare as well. He moaned as he saw the needed look in those green eyes. Movement caught his attention and he looked down in time to see the slacks fall in a pool to the ground. Thumbs hooked in the waistband of the boxers, and they too were pushed over his hips to join the pants. Both were kicked away and Mello though he was going to burst as he watched Matt wrap his long, talented fingers around his engorged cock. "I don't care how long it takes. Tonight. Tomorrow. The whole week, month, year. Our lives. I will show you that you're it for me, Mello."

"Mihael." It was just a whisper and a confused look crossed Matt's face. Mello sat up and beckoned his soon to be lover to him. When Matt was kneeling in front of him, between his spread legs, he whispered again. "Mihael Keehl. It's my real name, Matt. I want to hear my _true_ name come from your lips when you are at the highest peak of ecstasy." Matt stayed where he was. Frozen. They had never used real names. They did too much under cover work to allow their true identity to be known. It wasn't required. Just a precaution they had taken on their own as Wateri had suggested when they met L all those years ago. It wasn't that they didn't trust each other. They had met with those names. There had never been a _need_ to tell. Slowly, the realization hit him. It was needed _now_..

"Mail.." He whispered as he gestured to himself. Mello nodded with a smile before his lips were attacked. Matt kissed him with everything he had, slowly lying him back on the bed, covering his body with his own. They both moaned as their erections crashed together. Mello's hand squeezed between then and wrapped around them both.

"You have no idea how long I've wanted this. Wanted you. I want it _now._ We have plenty of time to do everything else we want." Mello couldn't speak over a whisper.

"No idea, huh? I guess I just imagined my wanting you then?" Matt reached into a drawer next to them and pulled some lube out. He then sat up on his knees. Mello took the tube from him and poured some in his hands. Sitting up just enough to reach him, he began to stroke Matt. Matt let out a low, needy sound and lubed his own hand up, sliding a finger into Mello. He worked fast, as the long, slow strokes on him made him fear he wouldn't last. Adding a finger in as soon as Mello's hips began to push back.

"Mail.. I need you.." Mello's arms were pulling him back down onto him. Fuck. His name on Mello's lips was almost more than he could take.

"Mihael.." He whispered as their eyes locked. His fingers were removed and he wasted no time in sheathing himself inside. Both of them threw their heads back at the feeling of _finally_ being joined. Mello lifted his legs to wrap around Matt's hips, pulling him even deeper. Matt, unable to sit still any longer, began to suddenly thrust in and out of his body, making his gasp. They both _needed_ this. Just to feel each other. Kisses were exchanged sloppily. Hands were everywhere. Marks were cheated on necks, collar bones, and chests. Breathing was harsh. Each one repeating movements that made a particularly interesting noise leave the other. As much as they were enjoying it, it wasn't long before a tight ball formed in their lower abdomens. Mello was determined to hold on as long as he could. His hands moved up to grip the headboard as his legs tightened around his lover. Matt's own hands slowly moved up his sides, then his arms. He grabbed Mello's and intertwined their fingers, pressing them into the mattress. Their eyes locked. "Cum for me, Mihael." And that was it. Mello came more violently than he had in his entire life. His eyes never leaving Matt's. His walls tightened, and Matt's thrust became more erratic. When Mello called out his name, he followed him over the edge. He continued to pump in and out, riding out his orgasm until he collapsed into Mello's arms. He lay there, gasping for breath and enjoying the feeling of Mello's fingers drawing patterns on his back, legs still wrapped around him tightly. A low rumbling caused him to look up into a smiling face.

"I'm not so sure I'm completely convinced yet, _Mail_.." Matt smiled before capturing Mello's lips into a lazy kiss.

"Is that so, _Mihael?_ I guess I'll just have to pound it into you all night." He started to kiss down Mello's neck, feeling the blonde twitching to life against his stomach. He was taken by surprise as he was flipped onto his back, his own arousal growing, still inside the the tight body that was above him.

"I bet you ride better than my motorcycle." He winked. Matt's hands ran up lean thighs before pulling down on narrow hips.

"Challenge accepted."

A/N: **drools** Matt stripping? Anyone else have a positive mental image? **Faint**

Oh.. Where am I? Riiiight.. Anyways.. Still not quite the end.. Anyone else notice that the L bomb hasn't been dropped by either Matt nor Mello? =3 Stay tuned. And for you L/Light lovers.. I have a chapter just for you.. It's only fair since BB and Naomi got some love, right? I know I said there'd be like 2 chapters after this one, but I MIGHT change that. Add one more? We'll see where my muse takes me.. (I like to imagine my muse as Salma Hayek as "Muse" in the movie, Dogma... It helps.)


	17. Imperfectly Perfect

A/N: This is just for all you deprived Light/L lovers. 3 A little peek into how they came to be and all the fun stuff I guess. Hope you enjoy.

foreverunloved: I _thought_ you'd love me again after reading _that_.. lol. And perhaps I can work that little scene in for you. If not, i WILL become a one-shot or be in the other story I'm working on. I'm also glad you enjoyed the flow. I'm still working on discovering what words I'm comfortable using. I literally blush when I write.. haha. 3

Disclaimer: I do not (sadly) own Death Note or any of it's character. =(

Warnings:

**Chapter 17: Imperfectly Perfect**

Everything had gone absolutely _wrong!_ He had planned it out so perfectly! Muphey's Law was a bitch! He had been running late from work, which was bad enough. Then he took his shower and got ready in a rush. The one day for his hair to _not_ cooperate! He had planned to take L out to a nice restaurant. They got there and all was going well. Then he realized he had forgotten his wallet. L only laughed at him and handed over his credit card without even looking at the bill. Sure, the guy was filthy rich, but he wasn't supposed to pay. Not for this dinner. Afterward they went to take a walk through the park, and he half stepped on a rock and rolled his ankle. L had just helped him hobble to a bench so they could look at the stars and talk. He sat on the edge with L curled up next to him, the bad of sweets he insisted he need from the car open next to him. But despite it all, he had still planned to go through with it. He was _not_ going through this torment again. When he couldn't take it any longer, he adjusted his body, forcing L to sit up straight. He then slid down to kneel in front of his long time lover.

"Raito?" The look of confusion was evident on his face. He grabbed L's hands in his.

"L.. Words can not express my feelings for you enough. You believed in me when no one else did. You saved me from the path I was venturing down blindly. I am in debuted to you. I never thought that while I was running from the law, I was consequently running from love. From _you._ It's amazing how getting caught was the best thing to ever happen to me. When I was brought in and you entered that interrogation room, I knew you were like no one else I would ever meet. You fascinated me the moment I saw you. You offered me a job. To work with you. At first, I thought I should say no. To say screw you to the world. But you captivated me, and before I knew it, I was saying yes. Slowly but surly, my interest was peaked higher. I just couldn't know enough about you. You were driving me mad. It took me a while, but I realized I wanted you more than I had ever wanted anything or anyone in my entire life. When I finally had you, I was sated. You lying in my arms every night. Waking you your face each morning. It was a heaven I never deserved. But now.. I find myself unsatisfied. Once again, you are driving me completely insane. So I thought deeply of it, and I can only come up with one solution.." Raito released his hands and reached for the box that _should_ have been there. "God, damn it! I just can't do _anything_ right! What the hell is wrong with me!" He was on his feet, hobbling around, cursing, and kicking rocks. L watched on with amusement. Only when Raito's words turned to Japanese, did L intervene.

"Raito?" The caramel colored brunette stopped and looked at L as he slowly stood. Whatever he was going to say was drown out as thunder rumbled and lightning lit up the sky. Suddenly, it was pouring rain. His shoulders slumped and he let out a heavy sigh.

"Well, that was out of no where. I know I don't deserve the good life I have, but really?" He yelled to the heavens. The sound of laughter brought him back to reality and he snapped his gaze to the sodden raven. His hair was a mess, running down his face and shoulders with the weight of the water. His white button up shirt was see through. His face was upturned to the sky as he laughed heartily.

"Raito?" He held out his arms and Raito moved into them. L sighed as the words his boyfriend had unknowingly ranted about bounced in his head. "I love you. I know you have this OCD issue, but tonight.. Well, tonight has been perfect. I have never seen this side of you, and I absolutely love it. Knowing I will probably be the only one to ever see it, makes it that much more special." Raito kissed him tenderly and pulling him into a hug. His gaze briefly landed n the bag of sweets on the bench and he jerked suddenly with an idea. He pulled himself away from L and grabbed what he had seen and unwrapped it. Once he finished, he dropped down to his knees once again.

"I know this isn't exactly traditional, but.. Lawliet, will you marry me?" He held out the strawberry flavored ring pop L had in his candy back and he smiled down at the love of his life.

"Traditional? No. But then again, _we_ aren't exactly traditional. Marry you? Yes." Raito grinned and slipped the 'ring' onto his finger before he stood and captured L's lips with his own.

The rest of the night was s a blur. Raito got L home. Wet clothes made a trail to the bedroom. Shirts were ripped open, losing buttons. Shoes kicked off. Pants roughly pushed aside, kicked away to narrowly avoid tripping. L broke the kiss only to pull Raito's tie off, laughing when it caught in his mouth for a moment. When Raito had L on the bed, completely naked, he stopped and pulled a box out of the nightstand. He opened it and revealed a white gold band with 4 straight baguette diamonds in it.

"I'd like to make love all night to my _official_ _fiance_." And with that, he pulled the ring pop (now devoid of any candy) off and slid the ring down L's long finger. He replaced the ring pop, knowing it still meant something to L. L admired the ring for a moment before he needed to see it as his fingers ran through Raito's wet and messy hair. He couldn't speak, so he pulled Raito to him in a passionate kiss. The parted and Raito moved down his body slowly, savoring every inch of his _fiance's_ body. When he got to his destination, he opened up the bottle of lube and spread it over his fingers. As he slid a finger in, his mouth descended and L's head slammed into the pillow. He continued to suck and swallow as he prepared his entrance, taking his time to torture him. When he deemed him ready, Raito moved back up and slid into him as his tongue matched into the awaiting mouth, swallowing each others moans. He then moved over L, slowly at first.

"Raito, please." L whispered in desperation. Raito smirked and angled his hips just right. "Raito!"

"Lawliet!" He matched as L's muscles squeezed him. His pace increased as the tension built inside of them both. Thrusts became frantic, their rhythm unimportant. He moved his hand down and wrapped his fingers along the neglected member. It only took three strokes before L was coming all over them with a scream of his name, and he only got two more thrusts in before he joined his lover in ecstasy. He finally collapsed and rolled next to L, gathering him in his arms. "I love you, Lawliet."

"And I love you, Raito." The shared a few tender kisses, enjoying the feel of the other, slowly allowing their bodies to come to life once again. "No, allow me to show you my appreciation." L rolled on top of Raito with a devilish gleam in his eyes as he took his new fiance.

A/N: Ok, I think the idea behind this, is cute. Raito is so perfect! So naturally, something like this would happen to him! lol. Show some love! 3 This was made just for the deprived Raito/L fans out there. Next, we get back to some Matt/Mello and some Beyond Birthday harassment! 3


	18. Save a Motorcycle, Ride a Gamer

A/N: Ok, this chapter is dedicated to foreverunloved. You asked for it, so here it is. Hope you like what I did with the insight of both their thoughts. Btw, I'm not the BIGGEST L/Light fan either. I like them together, yes. But I prefer Matt/Mello stories with them on the side. ;)

Disclaimer: I only wish I owned Death Note and the characters.

Warnings: Language. Lemony goodness. 3

**Chapter 18: Save a Motorcycle, Ride a Gamer**

"Feels so good being bad. There's no way I'm turning back. Now the pain is my pleasure. Cause nothing could measure." Matt was dancing around in the kitchen with the radio on, singing along. He couldn't help but feel how perfect this song was for him now. He had never really enjoyed pain.. Until Mello showed him the ways. Anything Mello did or said. It got to him.

"Love is great, love is fine. Out the box, out of line. The affliction of the feeling. Leaves me wanting more." It had been two weeks since they had first finally had sex. Two weeks since BB and Naomi were married and left for their honeymoon. Two weeks since Matt had seen his place of employment. Mello went in. Him and Raito were working together seeing as their partners ran off to Australia together. Though, Mello was always late. Today was Mello's day off. The blonde was so exhausted that he was sleeping in, and Matt decided to make him a nice breakfast.

"Cause I may be bad. But I'm perfectly good at it. Sex in the air. I don't care. I love the smell of it. Sticks and stones may break my bones. But chains and whips excite me." He flipped the bacon and put the eggs onto a plate.

"Matty?" Matt stopped and turned to face the voice that came from behind him. He beamed when he saw that Mello hadn't bothered to get dressed either.

"Morning Mels. Your breakfast is almost done." Mello was stretching in the doorway with a yawn. His blue eyes reopened to inspect his nude boyfriend cooking. Green eyes smiled devilishly back at him and he felt his flaccid cock twitch. The slight stiffening didn't go unnoticed, and the look intensified. Mello raked his eyes over Matt's body again. He was turned sideways, so he could see the beginnings of his own erection as well as the perfectly sculpted ass he loved pounding into so much. And then he noticed Matt's feet. He snorted.

"Matty, why are you wearing nothing but socks?" He leaned against the counter and crossed his arms. Matt blushed and turned back to buttering some toast.

"I was cold, ok?" This only caused Mello to laugh harder.

"So you put on _socks?_ Did you think of maybe getting dressed?"

"I like being naked and my feet control m body temperature, and- You know what? Nevermind." Matt started to dance again as he caught up to the song. "Cause I may be bad. But I'm perfectly good at it. Sex in the air. I don't care. I love the smell of it. Sticks and stones may break my bones. But chains and whips excite me." Mello's eyes darkened as he watched his ass sway to the music. He took the few steps across the kitchen and molded his body into Matt's. The redhead stood up straight as he felt a stiff erection working its way between his cheeks.

"You're definitelygood at being bad. And the idea of trying out chains and whips? I like it." He spat into his hand and rubbed his throbbing member down before he bent his shallow breathing lover over the counter and sheathed himself in one swift thrust. Matt cried out in a mixture of pain and pleasure. Mello's hand was pushing his head down into the counter top. His breath fogged and unfogged the surface. He felt nails scrape down his back and up his thighs. Teeth bit into his neck and shoulders. The force of the thrusts slammed him into the counter roughly. All he could do was continue to moan, getting louder with each thrust. Mello placed his left hand on his thigh, pulling him for more force. His right hand wound into his red locks, and just as he pulled Matt up roughly, both just about ready to ind release..

"Honey, I'm hooooooome!" Fuck. Beyond Birthday stood in the doorway to the kitchen. His face was pure shock at first, but the two lovers were frozen in the moment. His lips curled into a smirk. "I see we missed a lot. Sexy display if I do say so myself." He winked before he felt Naomi hit him. He feigned being hurt and looked back at the pair as he heard a startled _'eep'_. Mello was carrying Matt out of the kitchen and down the hall to their bedroom.

"Five more minutes!" He called over his shoulder.

"Ok, but if you aren't out of bed by then, young man, I _will_ come drag you out!" Beyond was shaking his finger as he yelled after them. Matt laughed as Mello slammed the door. His laughter died as he was thrown onto the messy bed and a predatory looked formed in the blue eyes he loved so much.

"Now, where were we?" He crawled over reinforced hardness and pulled it into his mouth. Matt fell back to the bed with a loud moan.

"Mello!" He was about to wind his fingers into the long blonde tresses, but Mello was already moving up his body, straddling his hips, and slamming himself down onto Matt. The gamer was in pure heaven. This was without a doubt, his new favorite game. The chocoholic had decided he did indeed think Matt rode better than his motorcycle. And oh how Matt _loved_ this game. Mello was like no one he had ever been with. The way he moved over him. Dominating even as a technical 'bottom'.. He was so wanton and free in a way Matt never expected. He would lean down and capture Matt's lips in a passionate yet messy kiss. His lips and tongue moved in patterns over his neck and chest. Love bites were everywhere that he could reach. Matt's own hands would be pinned above his head as Mello's intense gaze bore into his. Then he would lean back against Matt's thighs for a different angle, throwing his head back with a yell. Mello was a sex god.

Mello had decided one of his favorite things in bed, was to ride Matt. And Mello's never, I repeat _never_ bottoms. He had tried it a few times and absolutely hated it. He did it that first time with Matt cause he knew the confidence was needed. Mello never realized that bottoming could be so.. fucking amazing. Literally and figuratively. Matt. Mail Jeevas. His awkward and shy little gamer had turned into quite the man. Over the years he grew out of his awkwardness and became more open. There was still a big part of him that was reclusive, but once they fell into bed together, it was like all the walls came tumbling down. He had only seen him so confident while gaming. He couldn't help all the moving around he did. He felt so free with him. The same free feeling he got while out for a ride, but it was so much more intense. Matt would push himself up and pull Mello down whenever he felt more touching was necessary. His mouth grazing anything it could reach. His eyes turned a deep forest green in lust and he felt like he'd drown. He would be pulled in so intently, the barely noticed when he pinned Matt's hands over his head. It was like Matt knew he was getting close. He knew exactly what Mello needed and wanted. As he went to pull himself up, Matt's hands were pushing on his, allowing him to sit up more fluidly. He moved his body back, Matt planted his feet on the bed firmly. Mello's hands slid over Matt's forearms and those skilled fingers ran down his chest, dipped into the curves of his abdomen, and rested on his hips. Suddenly Mello was being pulled roughly into Matt's already forcefully snapping hips, and he just couldn't take it anymore.

"Mail!" He cried out as his head flew back. Matt never once even touched his cock. He shivered in ecstasy as he felt Matt's release fill him and heard the gamer voicing his own pleasure with the shout of his name.

"Mihael! Fuck!" Nails dug into his hips and it only made it that much better. Mello's over worked and abused body finally collapsed on top of Matt who rolled them over and began kissing Mello. "Mmm.. That was epic."

"Epic?" Mello snorted.

"Epic. Amazing. Wonderful. Awesome. Perfect." Mello was looking at him with a 'really?'.. Matt laughed. "How about perfect awesomely epic amazingly wonderful?" Mello couldn't help but chuckle.

"You're such a dork." He flicked his nose and smiled as a frown crossed Matt's lips. "But you're my dork." He pulled him into another heated kiss.

"Mmm.. Mels, we should get up before this goes any further. B and Naomi _are_ waiting in the living room for us after they just walked in on us having sex in the kitchen." He started to pull away, and Mello pulled him in for another kiss. It didn't take long for Matt to allow Mello to move him under his body. But as soon as Matt's cock started to stir, he felt the cold air as Mello moved away.

"Come on Matt, they're waiting for us. Can't you think of anything but sex for like five minutes?" Matt's glare was short lived as a towel landed on his head. "Clean up you bum." He did as he was told, wiping himself clean before throwing the dirty towel back at the smirking blonde who dodged is easily.

"Asshole."

~~~~~~~~

Beyond was lazing on the couch with Naomi at his side when the other two emerged. He smirked once again and turned off the television and tossing the remote onto the table. Mello was wearing his black sweat pants, allowing them to ride low on his hips. Matt was wearing a pair of pac man lounge pants, pulling on a black t-shirt as they joined them. Once he pulled it down over his head, BB couldn't help but be surprised momentarily. It didn't last long though.

"I saved your bacon." Matt stopped in the middle of pulling his shirt down his abs and looked at BB, clearly asking, 'what the fuck'? BB laughed and pointed to the kitchen. Matt's face cleared and blushed as he nodded with a whispered thanks as he went into the kitchen.

"There's plenty if you two want some." Matt spoke as he placed a plate in front of Mello and sat down with his own. BB went into the kitchen and plated the remainder of the food and set a plate in front of his wife as she sat down across from Mello. "So.. How was the honeymoon?" Matt asked awkwardly. BB laughed.

"_That's_ what you want to talk about?" Naomi kicked him under the table and he glared at her.

"It was lovely! Two weeks off. Lazing on the beach and in the room. Scuba diving. It was so fun!" Naomi gushed. They spoke about it for a while, allowing Naomi to talk excitedly about her honeymoon for a while. Matt was relieved. But his savior soon switched to the dark side. "So.. What have you two been up to." She sent them a sly look.

"Christening the whole apartment." Mello answered nonchalantly. Matt choked on the last of his orange juice.

"Mello!"

"What?" The blonde looked at him indifferently as he pushed his empty plate away and unwrapped a chocolate bar. "It's _true._" He pointed out and Matt sighed.

"Oh come on Matt. Like you guys have to be embarrassed in front of _us_." Naomi shrugged as she finished off her toast.

"Yeah. Even if we hadn't walked in on you being Mello's bitch bent over the counter." BB pulled the jar of jam towards him and opened it, dipping his fingers in.

"Hey! I'm not his bitch." Matt put a _much needed_ cigarette between his lips and lit it, inhaling the nicotine, allowing it to relax his body. Mind blowing sex and good food? That called for a cigarette.

"Yeah yeah. It's ok. I could easily tell from the noises you two were making that Mello was the one on bottom just now." Mello stopped mid snap into his chocolate and his eyes met Naomi's across the table. Her eyes were a little wide and her mouth hung open.

"_You_ bottomed? What happened to 'Mello _never_ bottoms'?" She did he best impression of the hard ass and blue eyes turned and met questioning green. Mello shrugged, continuing biting off chocolate. The moment didn't go unnoticed.

"Oh don't act so innocent, Matt. Cooking? Naked and dancing to music I presume? Big goofy grin? Sure. That all may be normal.. But.. Where are you're goggles?" BB was smirking at him. Matt actually looked around as if noticing for the first time they were missing. He got up and went to the living room and found them on the coffee table, next to his 3ds. He grabbed both and returned, pulling the goggles on, tinting the world in orange.

"I don't get it." Naomi spoke, her chin resting on the heel of her hand.

"Matt _never_ takes his goggles off. _Especially_ during sex. It's 'too personal'." Matt could feel Mello's eyes boring through him. He just switched his game on, totally intending to kick the deku tree's ass once again. He hadn't even noticed he allowed their removal. He knew he cared about Mello. But neither had expressed the words. He was worried that Mello didn't care for him as deeply as he did for the skin tight, leather wearing bad ass that was his best friend turned lover. But Naomi's words kept ringing in his head. _'Mello _never_ bottoms..'_ Did that mean that Matt meant more to him? A million questions ran through his head about the sex god of a man. He squirmed under the gaze he knew he was receiving. Did he _love_ Mello? He finally looked up and Mello was sitting there, munching on his chocolate, looking at him thoughtfully. Matt inhaled from his cigarette and breathed it out slowly, the cancer stick itself never moving.

_'Holy mother of Zelda.. Of _course_ I love him.'_ A feeling of freedom at admitting his feelings to himself was in his chest. But as blue clashed with green, a new fear clutched his heart. _'Does he..?'_

A/N: 8o How could our boys be o dense? 3 Just one more chapter after this I think!


	19. Yuri The Only One For Me

A/N: So, this is the last chapter. It's a bitter sweet moment for me. I really hope you enjoy it. 3 Idk if there will ever be a sequel.. Maybe if the inspiration hits me randomly one day. So for now, I will try to get the end a perfect mix of closure and a possible opening.

Disclaimer: I do not own Death Note or it's characters.

Warnings: Language. Sexual situations.

**Chapter 19: Yuri the Only One For Me**

Mello watched amused as Matt sat next to him on the couch, strumming his guitar and singing randomly about everything. If you asked him a question, he would sing you the answer. This had caused everyone to ask him random shit. Beyond had asked him what his favorite sexual position was, and he didn't even hesitate to sing the word _'missionary' _in the middle of whatever he was randomly on about at the moment. He couldn't get over how strongly he felt for this freak of a boyfriend he had. He couldn't help but look around at the odd group they made. Beyond was sitting in his normal chair on his left, Naomi was on the floor between his legs, her arms crossed over his right leg. Her diamond ring glittered on her finger, and Mello couldn't help but think about how ironic it was that his best friend married Matt's. Aside from each other that is. His attention switched to the other chair that had Raito in it. L was sitting in a similar fashion as Naomi, though he had his one arm slung over Raito's leg and his head in his fiance's lap as fingers stroked through his wild hair. Matsuda had taken Sayu out to dinner. Word from Raito was he had asked him permission to ask for her hand. Everyone was about to get married except him and Matt.

Matt.. His attention was finally zeroed in on the laughing red head once again. He was wearing his black and white striped shirt and blue skinny jeans tucked into his boots. His goggles covered his face like always. His hair was messier than usual from him pretending to 'rock out' as he referred to it. His beat up acoustic guitar was in his lap, his nimble gaming fingers working on the strings.

"When did you even start to play?" Mello finally voiced the question that had been nagging him as he prodded Matt's hip with his own boot covered foot. Matt turned his head to look at him.

"Wouldn't you like to know?" He just sang and smiled. Mello rolled his eyes. He kept going on with his rambling and answering questions. Mello couldn't help but wish he could see the sparkling green eyes that lay behind the orange tinted goggles. Goggles. Thinking of those made him think about how Beyond had said Matt never took them of during sex. Mello could only remember them remaining _on_ Matt a handful of times. And that was a significantly lower number than the amount of times they had sex.

"Come on Mello, your turn to ask a question. A _real_ one." Beyond's voice came from his left. Matt was regarding him with a smile.

"How do you feel about me, Matty?" He didn't mean to ask it. Not at that moment. But it just slipped out. Matt stopped playing and his face turned serious, all laughter in the room dying. Too late to back out now though. Mello kept his intense blue eyes locked on the gamer. Suddenly Mat started to strum again, though it was different notes. For a moment, Mello thought Matt wouldn't answer or he'd make a joke about it.

**"Like a persocom I'm teaching you. Like a pokemon I pikachu. Like Mario and Peach I'm never reaching you. Like Gundam Seed you're my destiny. Like Ed I lust for your alchemy. I get a lightning kick from you just like Chun-Li."** Mello watched as Matt's lips moved. Did he understand all of it? No. He knew Matt was using games and animes as a reference right away. Did it bother him? No. He loved his gamer with everything in him.

**"For Yuna and Zelda and Chi I'd do anything. For Yui I'd do anything."** He paused, taking a dramatic breath before continuing.

**Yuri the only one for me. Try so hard to make you see. Yuri the only one for me. Priceless like a PS3. Yuri the only one for me. You and I make Nintendo Wii, Will together be, WoW level 70." **He could here the chuckling from the other people in the room. The 'awww's coming from Naomi. But it was all background noise. He was entranced by the moving lips in front of him.

**Let's pwn some n00bs goin PvP. Let's limit break Final Fantasy. Won't tri-to-force you Twilight Princess can't you see? You're my angel out of Tokyo-3. Cal-shaded face in AMV. Just like Ranma you're the better half of me."** Mello knew he was smiling. Not the same goofy, full set of teeth grin Matt wore. But that was who they were. The oddball gamer and the ass-kicking detective.

**"For Yuna and Zelda and Chi I'd do anything. For Yui I'd do anything."** Mello moved over and pulled Matt's goggles off his head, the need to see his eyes taking over, before he leaned back once again, laughing.

**Yuri the only one for me. Try so hard to make you see. Yuri the only one for me. Priceless like a PS3. Yuri the only one for me. You and I make Nintendo Wii, Will together be, WoW level 70."** He strummed the final note and everyone was laughing lightly at Matt's reference to his feelings, Mello being no exception.

"You're suck a fucking dork, Matt, I love you." Matt's laughter stopped and his face turned serious. Mello felt his insides turn to ice in fear. It was eerily quiet. Obviously, not one person had missed those words leaving his mouth. His heart was racing. His mind was unsure of what to do. He wanted to run. Obviously Matt had feelings for him, but _love?_ Obviously not. But his body wouldn't move. Matt lowered his guitar, leaning it against the couch on the opposite side that Mello was on. His eyes never once leaving him. Then Matt was on him, their lips molded together. Mello reluctantly kissed back, allowing the fears to subside. At the very least, he hadn't completely lost Matt to the slip of his tongue. When the red head pulled back, he was smiling.

"I love you too, Mels." Mello smiled and pulled Matt into his lap in a searing kiss. Beyond was muttering a 'It's about fucking time..' in the background as everyone clapped and cheered.

"Ok, everyone out now." Mello had broken the kiss to kick their asses on the street. He smirked at Matt's confused look. "I need to make love to my boyfriend now." Matt's face turned devilish and his head whipped around to second Mello's demands. They just laughed and left, Matt following to usher them out as quickly as possible and lock the door behind them. Mello stood by the couch and waited. Once the door was locked, Matt turned around with a blush on his face. When it was evident he wouldn't be moving forward again on his own, Mello decided to move himself. In a flash he had Matt against the door, his legs wrapped around his waist. He didn't hesitate to turn them around and walk to the bedroom, never breaking the kiss.

He kicked the door closed behind him and lay Matt on the bed, covering his body with his own. His lips traced down a smooth jawline and narrow neck, pulling his lover up just enough to slip the shirt over his head. Fingers were pulling at the zipper of his vest before shoving it off his shoulders. He then felt them pulling and untying the laces on his pants, freeing his aching member. Mello gasped as fingers encircled him. He allowed himself to enjoy a few strokes before freeing himself from the grasp. Matt let out a noise of protest. Mello chuckled as it turned into a whimper as he kissed the jean clad tent, sucking on it and nipping it once before he undid the belt and button. He slid the zipper down as slowly as he could. He was not at all a patient man. He sat up and unlaced and removed Matt's boots and socks, and in one motion, jeans and boxers came next. Matt let out a strangled gasp as he was engulfed in the warm and wet mouth. He reached down and pulled the blonde's hand up to his mouth, sucking on each finger individually before taking them at once. Mello let out a moan around his cock and he threw his head back, allowing the fingers to escape his grasp. He didn't have much time to sulk though, as a finger slid into him, wiggling around before being joined by a second and third.

"Please.." He sat up on his arms enough to lock eyes with Mello, biting his lip as cheeks were hallowed. His arms threatened to give way as his prostate was brushed. Mello moaned with him and Matt couldn't take it anymore. The chocoholic's tongue was just too good. He would _never_ complain about the chocolate intake again if this was the result. Blue eyes clouded over as green darkened. A loud moan left panting lips, and Mello swallowed harder and faster as his mouth began to fill. "Make love to me, Mihael." was whispered. Mello quickly stood up next to the bed, removing his own boots quickly. Matt sat up and pushed the leather the rest of the way down, kissing back up lean thighs, momentarily pulling Mello's twitching erection into his mouth, deep throating once before scooting back on the bed. His red hair was fanned across the pillows. His green eyes dark with lust and twinkling with love. He spread his legs and a hand moved down to stroke his awakening cock, a moan coming between pants as his eyes hooded and locked with Mello's once again. Mello swore he could cum right there. That sight would forever be in his mind. He lowered himself to the bed and crawled cat-like over the flushed body that popped on the plain white linen.

"Are you ready for me, Mail?" He whispered. Matt bit his lip and nodded, wrapping his legs around Mello's waist once again, pulling as Mello pushed into him. Mello pulled him into a slow and deep kiss. They were always so rushed. Never being able to get enough of each other. The passion too great. But this.. This was about _love_. Finally admitting it to one another. And he'd be damned if he fucked this up. He began moving in and out of the blissfully tight body that hugged him. Matt's hands still moved everywhere, touching every last dip and curve of his body that his arm length allowed. Mello peppered kisses anywhere he could. All over Matt's face, neck, and chest. Licking up his neck slowly before dipping it back between the parted lips. He shoved his arms underneath Matt, crushing their bodies together, and increasing the speed a little. Matt's arms wound around his neck tightly, this thighs gripping his hips almost painfully. He let out a cry as the friction rubbed against his neglected erection. They moved like this for what seemed like hours. The pace would increase slightly every once in a while. Hips began to snap together harder. Mello angled his hips to perfectly hit that spot inside him with every thrust. Breaths mingled and came out heavy and irregular. They whispered each others names like a mantra. When Matt's breath came out even harsher and faster, Mello snapped his own hips harder. With every breath, Matt let out a moan, growing louder each time. When he felt the walls tighten around him, and a sticky feeling explode beneath them, he finally let go himself, calling his lovers name. Matt's back arched off the bed, and Mello just pulled him tighter to him. His head threw back on the pillows, and Mello buried his face into Matt's neck. He trust a few times to ride out his high before he felt Matt's back straighten and relax under him. They remained like that for a while, catching their breath, until he felt Matt pulling his face up. He rested his forehead against the other sweaty one, pulling his right arm out from under him to run his fingers up his face and through his wet hair.

"I love you, Mihael." Matt spoke before kissing his lips tenderly.

"I love you too, Mail." He returned before recapturing those abused lips. "And I swear to you, I will spend every day proving it to you." Matt chuckled but nodded.

"Sounds like an epic plan, Mels. But for now? Let's get a bit of sleep.. That was.. Just WOW." Mello laughed lightly before pulling out of him and rolling to his side, pulling the exhausted body next to him along. Their limbs intertwined and they shared a few lazy kisses before he felt the man next to him, breathing evenly. He hugged him tightly to his chest before relaxing himself, thinking about the box he had hidden in the closet for his best friend and lover, waiting for the right moment to give it to him. With a smile on his lips, he allowed his own breath to even out as well as he joined the love of his life in dreamland.

A/N: OMG.. I can't believe it's done! Haha. Hopefully that ending is a nice closure but allows for a sequel if inspiration hits. Thank you to everyone who stuck through this with me! I hope it was satisfying for you. Hopefully I got better as I got more comfortable with writing. 3 Now, I will e focusing on my other story, titled (ironically so), _Focus._ lol.

Btw, I know I didn't give credit to the music. That's because when I started, I wasn't sure how making A/N went or anything, and then I kept forgetting, and decided to do it in a list at the end.. So, here they are:

Chapter 1: "When You're Gone" By Avril Lavigne

Chapter 2: "Evacuate the Dance Floor" By Cascada

Chapter 3: "Break Me, Shake Me" By Savage Garden

Chapter 5: "Take it Off" By Ke$ha

Chapter 8: "Runaway" By Cascade

Chapter 9: "What Do I Have To Do" By Stabbing Westward

Chapter 10: "Need You Now" By Lady Antebellum

Chapter 11: "Whispers in the Dark" By Skillet

Chapter 12: "Lithium" By Evanescence

Chapter 15: "Bad Boy" By Cascada

Chapter 16: "Better Than Drugs" By Skillet

Chapter 19: Yuri the Only One For Me" By Leetstreet Boys


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